| Title: Chapter 10
| 23 Jul 2009 8:49 pm
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| Reviewer: supergreak (Anonymous)
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Um, I love your story so far. You've captured the characters well. But...
"2 or 3 nights a week"
First off, you use the same phrase at least three times. Substitute "a few nights" "a couple" "several" etc. Additionally, NEVER EVER use numerals in literature. Spell it out. It's not that hard.
Author's Response: "Additionally, NEVER EVER use numerals in literature. Spell it out. It's not that hard."
I wasn't going to respond to this at first, as I'm not sure there's a need to use that tone. However...
If you read the rest of the story, you can see that the majority of the time I follow that rule. This was just a simple slip up on my part, not because "it's that hard". There was no need to be so condescending about it.
As for the others, duly noted on the repetition, I'll watch out for that in the future, and thanks for the feedback on the characterization.