Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Romans 8:16 29 Jul 2007 8:08 am
Reviewer: Foolish Wishmaker (Signed) [Report This]
    Good story. A little melodramatic and rambling at times, but good. It definitely makes me want to continue reading.

    I have noticed several places in this and previous chapters where there's a lack of clarity in your dialog. For example:

    “Calming Draught,” Snape explained. He reached a hand to Harry’s face but Harry flinched back. He noticed then that his face was wet. Had he been crying?
    He wiped his tears away, roughly.
    “Sorry,” Harry croaked, embarrassed.

    It sounds like "He reached" is Snape. If "He noticed" is Harry, it should be on a separate line, because otherwise it sounds like it's Snape, which then makes it sound like Snape is the one who wiped Harry's face, roughly. It doesn't sound like that was the intention.

    Author's Response:

    Eek, thanks so much for noticing that mistake of mine. I'll get it fixed up quick.

    Thank you so very much for your constructive review. I means alot to me.

Title: Romans 8:16 29 Jul 2007 4:15 am
Reviewer: Caramello (Signed) [Report This]
    Man, I hope Harry doesn't stick with his newly formed, possible habits. I can't say that I'd blame him, for all that he's been through, but I really hope he's smarter than that.

    I'm interested to see how differently things will play out when Harry doesn't go to the Cup. Smart of Snape to keep him from that. He's learning quickly :)

    Keira

    Author's Response:

    *L* It's so funny how different the readers are here and at ffnet. Already I've had a couple of reviewers on ffnet tell me that they think it's too severe of a punishment. ha, it's a totally different world on these two different websites.

    Harry has been through so much and he's never really been allowed or able to express himself with words and he's never really had someone to go to for help before. It really doesn't seem so out of place that Harry would end up having a habit like that. Let's hope it's just a one time thing that happened because the pot was too dissociative for him. We can hope it doesn't happen again... but only I really know for sure, don't I....?

    Thanks so much for your review.

Title: Romans 8:16 28 Jul 2007 8:51 pm
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    Wonderful chapter!! I'm sure Snape will freak out if he finds out that Harry cut himself. I hope theres more soon!

    Author's Response:

    Thank you! I'm sure Snape will have some sort of reaction if he ever finds out.

Title: Romans 8:16 28 Jul 2007 6:26 pm
Reviewer: KimSpiritTalks (Signed) [Report This]
    It's great to see another chapter, and it's a good one. Poor Harry, so confused. But it looks like he'll have plenty of help getting through it. Too bad about the Quidditch World Cup, though. That kinda made me sad for him. :)

    Author's Response:

    Yeah... the Quidditch thing is quite sad... but it's the only punishment I could think of that would fit.

    Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Title: Romans 8:16 28 Jul 2007 4:38 pm
Reviewer: ddamato (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow, great chapter! *wipes tear* I love it! ^^ haha

    Author's Response: aww shucks. thank you.

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