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Reviews For Emotional Commotion
The chapter was marred, though, by all the errors that can not be caught by spellcheck. There were two instances where "saw" became "was," and several other times where the mistake was a real word--just not the correct word. It really breaks up the flow and takes away from the emotion. Author's Response: thank you. I'll go through and fix those errors.
Author's Response: thanks!
Author's Response: yay thanks! Yeah, updating right now is getting quite difficult... I was planning on updating on Thursday of last week, but then my boss started threatening to take away my healthcare benefits if I didn't work more hours (even though he's the one who makes the schedule and gives me those hours) and so I took a few shifts from my friends and haven't had time to update. Hopefully this week *crosses fingers*
Author's Response: nah. it's still good actually due to that handy preservation charm over the whole house. Drink it... I dare you.... go ahead.
Author's Response: thank you! I hope to update on Thursday night or Friday morning at latest, so keep your eyes open and I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
I really loved the diagnosis scene. :) thanks for that! Good emotions and tension. I am a little worried about the weight Harry is - I think that 70 lbs is a little unbelievable. 80lbs, or more would probably be better. Harry eats as much as he wants at school for 9-10 months of the year, and he hasn't been at the Dursley's for very long if he's not 14 yet. Here is a weight chart for boys. If my guess is right, Harry is almost into his 4th year, so he could be close to the 14 year old section. The lowest weight listed for a boy that age is 82 lds. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhanes/growthcharts/set2clinical/cj41l071.pdf I like your setup a lot. :) Fantastic pace. There were quite a few typos though, you may want to look into getting a beta to glance over the work. :) I really like your chapter titles. Thanks for posting! Author's Response: thanks for the weight info. I got my info from Mary-Kate Olsen... took her weight and height and figured that since Harry was an inch and a half shorter, I should lower the weight but I couldn't figure a good number. I'll get to changing that. I'm looking into finding a good beta at the moment. I had a bad experience with a beta who tried to make stupid changes and then take my story for herself a few years back... bleh. I'm thinking the people here are probably alot more trustworthy than some of the billions on ffnet.
Author's Response: Eh, the wards didn't really drop or anything. Snape just didn't have much more than a minimal ward to begin with. When Voldie was around, he and his wife stayed with the Potters and he's not really a target at the moment.... so there was no need for major wards. He just needs to add the big ones now that Harry is there... because Harry is a target, even if it IS before Voldemort has risen again. And yes... yay for reasonable Snape. I must admit.... alot of it comes from me reading AYLNO over and over and over (i even listen to the audio files sometimes at work). I do so love her Snape and I do put that story on a pedestal and and whenever I have big problems, I read a favorite chapter or two of hers to get my mind back on track.
Loving this story so far, very interesting take on Severus being Harry's father! I noticed this while reading: Harry’s muscles went taut at the unknown touch and Severus gently massaged the slave in, calming Harry enough to relax. I know spell check wouldn't pick that up, so I thought I'd point it out. I hope you update soon, I especially love the integration of the bible verses. Author's Response: ach, thanks! spellcheck really does me no good when my typos usually end up as actual words. Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you like the Bible verse thing.
Author's Response: hmm... i may take you up on that offer if I don't find a beta. I see that your profile says your are not available as one, so I wouldn't want to take up your time if I don't need to.
Muah ha haha! Love it! Now I want to see how Snpae and Harry will be getting along. No doubt, it will be bumpy. I love how Harry asked about Snape's wife. I wonder if he's curious enough to snoop. Author's Response: He's probably not going to be too curious for the next couple of chapters. The beginning is time for Snape to be curious about Harry. Thanks for following along and reviewing and stuff! |
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