Lovely and sweet. You might work on a couple of grammar issues, particularly the use of semicolons (mostly when NOT to use them), but overall this is very nice work, IMHO. :) Thanks much for this story; I'm putting it on my favorites list!
Title: Chapter 7 - The End
| 04 Jun 2011 2:56 am
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Reviewer: Reverie (Anonymous)
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very touching... though a bit incomplete... what happened to Ron and Hermione? the last time day talked they had an argument with Harry... have they reconciled??
Nevertheless, it is very nice... I love the part when the adoption papers have been approve, very touching... :)
I feel bad about Sandra about her condition, but Im glad she's getting along well with Harry...
Uhmmm I still expect a sequel.. :))
Title: Chapter 6 - Woman or Monster
| 14 Sep 2009 6:34 pm
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Reviewer: cckeimig (Signed)
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Yeah, the coma was one, and the other was that you have Ron and Hermione in Potions class together in this chapter, after having explained why Ron WASN'T taking Potions this year in a previous one. And why would they be duelling in Potions class next to all those volatile ingredients and amongst all of the worktables?
Title: Chapter 7 - The End
| 03 Sep 2009 12:09 pm
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Reviewer: monique19 (Anonymous)
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nice story i like it very much ....
I am enjoying this story so far and am looking forward to the next chapter.
I did find some mistakes, however. First of all, writing "FLASHBACK" and "END FLASHBACK" is a pet peeve of mine and, in my opinion, ruins the flow of the story. If you put the flashback in italics, people will figure it out. They're smarter than you think. Also, I believe Nott is the death eater, not Knot. Lily Potter, similarily, is spelled "Lily," not "Lilly." That's another pet peeve of mine. There were some other small spelling, grammar, and sentence structure mistakes as well. Your characterization was nice, though. And, overall, this is very good.
Nice story! Although, what was up with the magic book? It seemed like that was going somewhere.... then it just disappeared from the story.
Author's Response: Kind of appropriate. A magic book...disappearing? lol. Just kidding. I totally had a whole story arc for that book. Wrote an entire second story that branches off, but this version wrote better so that's the one that I posted up. If you're interested, I can put a link up to the alternate version when I get a chance. :). I'm very glad that you liked it. :). Thank you for the review!!
This is amazing! The relationship is perfect - not suddenly nice, like sometimes. Way more believable. I like the way you introduced the patronus messaging ability - the suddeness of patronus stuff by everyone(!) was never really explained.
Author's Response: lol. Thank you for the wonderful review!! :) I would love to see the patronus charm more on film - I haven't seen the fifth movie yet. ;) I think that was my motivation for putting it in there...plus it's just a COOL spell. lol. I had to work hard on getting their relationship to be believable and take a while to mature. Thank you for your confidence that I achieved my goal. ;)!
I think I missed the update for this story when this last chapter came out so I just now finished it. I liked the ending very much! Good story overall!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!!! I know that there were some pretty glaring errors, but I have every intention of correcting those when I go back to beta. ;) I'm glad that you enjoyed it! :)
Title: Chapter 7 - The End
| 16 Aug 2007 11:07 pm
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Reviewer: lunaz (Anonymous)
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I enjoyed the story very much and hope to see more stories from you. One question thou in chapter six Professor Higgnite was an only child but in the final chapter she had a sister...just curious about this.
Author's Response: LOL. Nice catch. ;) Sorry about the slip.....maybe it should be great Aunt or something. I'll go back and fix that up! Thank you for spotting it. ;) great review and I am very glad that you enjoyed the stories so far. Sequel to come!! :)...In a few months. lol. ;)
aww it's so cute. Glad to see that Harry does truly love and trust Severus to take care of him and to really be a family together. Loved the chess scene when Harry was sick, really cute. Keep up the great work, looking forward to more. LES
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I am glad that you liked it. :) I have a sequel in the works, but I've simply run out of writing time this summer...I'll have to wait a few months before I write it. :( Don't worry though, it *WILL* be written. I had Waaay too much fun to stop now! :) Once again, I am very glad that you enjoyed it.
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