I have already left a review telling you the chapter was great because I could feel Harry's emotions. I thought that I would tell you a few things that I found particularly effective. I liked it that Harry described his eyes as watering. A boy his age would not want to admit to himself that he was crying. Because the story is told from Harry's perspective, we know that Harry's feelings toward Snape are changing in that he wants to please Snape. He doesn't understand why this is happening but he knows that it is happening. He may subconscioulsy recognize that Snape is treating him better, but he does not seem to realize it at a conscious level, which is interesting. Also since the story is told from Harry's perspective, we can't know if Snape's feelings are also changing towards Harry but there are some potential signs. Snape apparantly got angry at Harry for not learning the 18 plants used in first year potions, but look at it from his perspective. He had given Harry the book that contained the answers. He gave Harry an opportunity to explain why he was not prepared. Harry did not give an explanation. (To me, the problem is that poor Harry is so depressed that he cannot concentrate on studying, but Harry is not self-aware enough to recognize this and even if he recognized it, he would not feel comfortable confiding in Snape). Nevertheless, he does not yell or belittle Harry. He just tells him to learn it. When Harry's eyes start "watering" Snape does not get all lovey dove etc . but he does tell Harry that Lupin is just acting. He also appears to understand that Harry has reason to be unhappy i.e. Snape tells Harry that he is needs to be unhappy and resentful to successful play the role that Harry has been assigned and then Snape comments that this should not be difficult for Harry to accomplish since he has no reason to be happy. At one point, Harry seems to subconsciously recognize that Snape might be acknowledging Harry's feelings i.e. "Snape left him hanging, neither adding fuel to his anger nor trying to placate him--not that Harry thought the latter was a possibility." I am sure placating Harry was not a possibility so Snape did the only thing that could be done in the situation--which was keep his mouth shut and listen. Snape made sure Harry had breakfast. From Harry's perspective, Snape rudely told Harry to mind his table manners and to wash his face. I have told my childen to mind their manners and wash their faces, but I don't think I have ever told anyone else to do. Now I am not Snape, so maybe he regularly gives these orders to just anyone, but generally that is the kind of statement that comes from a parent.
| Title: Chapter 11
| 26 Jun 2008 4:25 am
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| Reviewer: NotEvenHere (Anonymous)
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Everything seems very hopeless for Harry. I really don't know how he can stand to even go about his daily life. I am not so sure that death would not be preferable to this. He's got nothing and really, neither Snape nor Lupin show any signs that he ever will. I hope you meant to do this, cause I am seriously depressed now. LOL
poor harry!
i'm so glad you updated. this is a very original and different fic, and unlike JKR, you have drawn a finely nuanced picture of Harry's inner state. please keep it up!
| Title: Chapter 11
| 25 Jun 2008 12:19 am
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| Reviewer: any (Anonymous)
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is lupin really mad at Harry?
Gosh poor harry thats gotta kill
is Harry going to be in slytherin? Cause I've read ur other stories and I can't really see Draco being nice or protective.
I don't know I just hope Harry doesn't get a bad view of the Weasleys and lines up with Malfoy in any case.
| Title: Chapter 11
| 24 Jun 2008 10:56 pm
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| Reviewer: Lio Saoirse (Anonymous)
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This is a great story. I love your plot idea, and although you claim it to be another severitus, there seems to be a lot of originality to it. Thank you for updating, and hopefully you will be writing more soon. I can't wait to find out more about what will be happening.
| Title: Chapter 11
| 23 Jun 2008 1:54 am
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| Reviewer: Kodak717 (Anonymous)
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I was so glad to see that you updated! Truthfully, I was starting to think you lost interest (which I HOPE never happens). This is a very well crafted story, and it invariably leaves me wanting just one more chapter. If I were in Harry's shoes, I'm afraid I wouldn't be dealing with things nearly as well as he is. Keep up the good work and PLEASE don't leave us hanging for very long.
Author's Response: No, I haven't lost interest. It has been just as frustrating for me to not be able to find time (without taking time away from real life obligations or needs... like sleep LOL) to update the darn thing. Now that it's summer I have more time, although I did somewhat overestimate how much more time I would have. I'm already well into writing chapter 12, so the next update is definitely not going to take as long as this last one did. I'm really glad you're ejoying it. If I were Harry, I wouldn't stand for a lot of what's going on, but canon Harry tends to keep his head down and wait it out, until something causes him to explode (like the Aunt Marge episode). For now he sees the importance of not screwing up the 'plan', and that's preventing him from exploding in a major way.
| Title: Chapter 11
| 23 Jun 2008 12:13 am
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| Reviewer: J (Anonymous)
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Well, there is emotional abuse to think about here, truthfully. What you've done to Harry is uproot him, turn someone he looked up to and trusted against him, throw him in with someone who hates him and will look for ways to punish him, turn his other friends against him, force him to adopt a persona that will keep everyone alienated from him...
Yes, it's "for his own good." However, a mentally broken, emotionally abused kid is no better than one who doesn't exist at all.
You're doing an excellent job writing this.. However, I fear your desire to keep Snape from becoming "mother of the year" and Harry from becoming a puddle of goo has caused you to make Snape even worse and Harry's life even harder.
Harry's starting to care about what Snape thinks because Snape is the one in charge of him. He's already an abused kid, so he's going to crave approval from any guardian he has, even if there is mutual loathing between him and the guardian. Seeking Snape's approval while Snape is a bastard is NOT a good thing for Harry's mental state. At all. He won't learn any important lessons that way.. Rather, he'll learn how to morph himself into what Snape wants. He's picking up what he has to do to please others, not what will help him settle down emotionally.
Visits with Ron are actually a bad idea. He can't tell Ron everything, so any visit is going to be superficial and frustrating. To have that occur on a regular basis might sound appealing right now, but it won't stay that way. It will only enhance this double role Harry is playing, and cause him to have to weave an even larger web of lies. That is also a bad idea for him emotionally.
| Title: Chapter 11
| 22 Jun 2008 10:49 pm
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| Reviewer: Deco (Anonymous)
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I agree with wynnleaf; Snape, for him, is making an effort. But he doesn't quite twig to the fact that Harry's guardians didn't care about his school performance, and thus he has established no study habits at all. What he needs is a lot of structure, and no 'you-decide-what-you need-to-do' stuff. And on some level, Harry wants that structure, and is beginning to want Snape to take charge of it, and give him both direction and approval. I'm not sure that Snape, as conceived here, can do that, which obviously going to lead to all types of trouble.
I didn't think Harry's comment was rude, but I guess it was delivery.
And good for Ginny.
Actually Snape is rather better in this chapter, it's just that he's pretty aloof to Harry and not acting what would be "caring" for most people. But he isn't angry at Harry for any altercation with Lupin. He tries to get him to finish breakfast. He, albeit impatiently, gives Harry a calming draught when Harry's getting too upset, and he does try to explain and remind Harry about the fact that they are playing roles and they have to stick to them.
What I particularly like about this story is Snape and Lupin being in such difficult circumstances themselves (risking their lives/freedom and such for Harry), playing roles, Snape dealing with this new situation with his son, etc., because all of this stress for Snape and Lupin makes the ability to support or help Harry far more problematic.
One thing that I don't think either Snape or Lupin see is that, to whatever extent, they do have each other for some emotional support through this highly stressful situation, whereas Harry doesn't really have either one, what with Snape still disliking him and Lupin having to play a role of not really knowing Harry, and also having so many of his own concerns.
I'm curious as to what will change Snape's opinion of Harry, by the way. Harry needs some sort of father figure so badly, that he may gradually want that from Snape (his approval, etc), even without Snape changing, and I think you're already hinting at that. But what will change Snape's viewpoint?
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