Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Chapter 4 19 Jul 2007 3:32 am
Reviewer: sunsethill (Signed) [Report This]
    Uh oh. Things are heating up. You have done a good job of logically continuing Harry's behaviour from OotP without him having the information he gets from Dumbledore at the end of the book.

    Author's Response: Trying to figure out how to reintroduce info that Harry would have learned at the end of the 5th book, and what would have changed as a consequence of my changes to Rowling's version, has been one of the challenges while writing this story.
Title: Chapter 3 19 Jul 2007 3:05 am
Reviewer: sunsethill (Signed) [Report This]
    What a thoroughly depressing chapter. I'm not sure how you managed to get through this. Hopefully at this point, things can only go up for Harry. There must be some nasty things going on.
Title: Chapter 1 19 Jul 2007 1:59 am
Reviewer: sunsethill (Signed) [Report This]
    This is a very intriguing premise--removing all those whom Harry depends upon at this point and making sure that Voldemort isn't part of the equation anymore (I think). Canon Weasleys would not have abandoned Harry, but I'll suspend my disbelief while I see what you do with your premise.
Title: Chapter 6 18 Jul 2007 11:01 pm
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    Good chapter. I'm glad he finally got to get his letter and see newspapers.
Title: Chapter 6 18 Jul 2007 8:33 pm
Reviewer: Enildam (Anonymous) [Report This]
    hey, i've got no problem with over 10,000 words! :) great chapter, i can't wait to see the next one... all of the characters and emotions were spot on.

    Author's Response: As a reader I prefer chapters I can read in one sitting, and 10,000 words is pushing it. On the other hand, short chapters frustrate me, so I try not to do that, either.
Title: Chapter 6 18 Jul 2007 7:44 pm
Reviewer: KimSpiritTalks (Signed) [Report This]
    That was an amazing chapter. I love how this is coming along. Finally, they're telling Harry things he's wanted to know and what they're saying is terrifying. You've covered all the bases I can think of. Nothing seems to be left unexplained. I like it!
Title: Chapter 6 18 Jul 2007 4:10 pm
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow! Fantastic chapter! The list of headlines was awesome. Too much information- indeed. Harry got nothing before, and now he knows everything. Wow. The scene in the basement was intense. I love all the discussions in the chapter. Fantastic job. Thank you for the update. :)

    Author's Response:

    I wouldn't say he knows everything now, but he's certainly been clued in on a lot of what's been going on. How much of it he fully understands is a separate issue. There are actually a lot of loose ends in this chapter, but we'll have to wait until Harry processes what he's learned over the past few days and is able to start asking questions.

    I had fun with the headlines. They were a much simpler way to explain what's been going on in the wizarding world without having someone tell it to Harry. Just imagine the length of that conversation! I was really pleased when I came up with the idea.

Title: Chapter 6 18 Jul 2007 4:08 pm
Reviewer: mwc (Signed) [Report This]
    hhmmmmm, if too much information is as bad as too little, i know which one i would still prefer. (claps) really doing a good job with this fic, it really gets your emotions involved and the characters are excellently IN-character. really like the last sentence too, can very much see harry saying that (said it a few times myself). keep up the good work!!
Title: Chapter 5 04 Jul 2007 4:19 am
Reviewer: MinervaM (Anonymous) [Report This]
    This is a very good story. You've managed to create a lot of tension and conflict in only a few chapters, and more importantly, you've done it well. I like the way you've characterized Harry and Snape. Harry's a bit "in your face" and Snape's got a good sharp edge to him. Lupin is interesting... I kind of like him in that he's not portrayed as a spineless mother hen. But he is pretty OOC, so I'm interested to see where you take him. My only complaint is that you haven't updated in two weeks. Yes, yes...I know that in fanfic land, this is nothing. But hey, what can I say. I like your fic a lot and I'm eagerly awaiting the next chap. Good job!

    Author's Response: An update is coming. I'm trying to re-read the books before the movie and 7th book come out, so it's draining a lot of my free time.
Title: Chapter 5 27 Jun 2007 8:45 am
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed) [Report This]
    I have a personal dislike of stories that I consider to be too dark in nature. Your story hasn't crossed that line, yet, but it's wavering dangerously close; and the main reason is Lupin's near-pathological treatment of Harry. This showed up particularly baldly when Harry asked Lupin for guidance regarding his fight with Snape, and Lupin’s response was that Harry should already know what to do. It’s classic abusive behaviour to play-act that the child already knows what they did wrong and berate them when they don’t know what they should fix, or how they should fix it; and it’s classic behaviour for the abused to keep coming back to be kicked again, just like Harry does every time he tries to subtly re-win Remus’s approval. The other expectations placed on Harry are equally untenable – don’t to go anywhere in the house, don’t *leave* the house, don’t read the paper, don’t read your friends’ letters, don’t ask *any* questions, no matter how seeminly innocuous. These are frankly unreasonable to ask of a teenaged boy. It's suprising Harry hasn't done something far more insolent than demand post that’s addressed to him.

    Hearing things from Snape and Lupin's perspective via their conversation at the end of this chapter has the effect of shifting things around, to a certain degree. From Harry's point of view, everyone around him is cold and aggressive; but if they're seeing his behaviour the same way, who's right?

    The only way of judging is taking note of the fact that Harry is still a child, and that he can sulk and be aggressive and get away with it because of his youth. Lupin and Snape, on the other hand are adults, and shouldn’t be returning Harry’s insolent behaviour with more of the same; this seems to be their current modus operandi.

    It also seems like you're intimating that Harry really is a spoiled brat via the comment about McGonagall. Not good grounds, considering that Harry had reason to believe McGonagall would help him because she told him verbally that she would. This is not an unreasonable expectation built from Harry's hubris - it's a reasonable one based on a promise McGonagall made!

    Well – you certainly have succeeded in your quest to avoid making Snape Mother of the Year. Rather than hateful, he seems indifferent, which is somehow worse. You've created a tension-filled situation in which Harry is desperately hoping for some sign of approval, however faint, from either man; but they seem unwilling or unable to provide him with that. The result is a gut-clenchingly uncomfortable dance between your trio of characters.

    I've really enjoyed this story so far - I'm just not sure if I like where it seems to be going... I’ll continue to read in hopes something shifts.

    -K

    Author's Response:

    Thank you for the feedback, I think it's going to help. This kind of detail in feedback is really unusual, so I definitely appreciate it.

    Well, a few things:

    When I originally wrote the conversation between Harry and Lupin, I had Harry try to explain about McGonagall, but it felt like it made it too long -- too much about a not-very-important detail. I don't think Lupin knew what McGonagall had actually said to Harry, so for him it was an automatic reaction based on a comparison between Harry expecting McGonagall to intervene and expecting Lupin to intervene. Both involved forcing Snape to do something that he had only a short time ago said he wouldn't do. Now that you've pointed out that Lupin's reaction was too extreme, I might find a way to work that issue into another conversation.

    Judging by all responses (not just yours... pretty much everyone's), I'm making a mess of Lupin's character. I admit I don't really see what's wrong with the way he's acting. So, this is probably me not being able to step back from my own story to see how it's coming through on paper. That's always a problem -- things are different in your head before you get it in writing. I mean for him to be fluctuating between cold/distant and trying to be warm like before (and often failing), so that part is okay, I think, but I don't mean for him to come across as aggressive or bullying. His distance and distrust of Harry seem to make sense to me -- in the 5th book he was all for giving Harry info, and the end result was not good. Now he's in another situation where a lot is at stake, and he's reluctant to make that mistake again. Rowling chose to portray Lupin as almost freer... like some burden had been removed and he was finally moving on with his life. I didn't agree with that portrayal. I think that dragging several young friends into a dangerous situation, which then resulted in someone Lupin cared about being killed while trying to fix the mess, would necessarily change things. The Lupin who could barely utter two words while holding Harry back from the Veil and the Lupin who cracked jokes mere weeks later just seem odd next to each other. If I had to reconcile the way I see it and the way Rowling chose to write it, then I would say Lupin managed to stomp down any negative feelings and is ignoring that they even exist. He's good at that.

    Harry is a teenager, and sulky and disobedient. True. But right now that's a dangerous way to be. Teenagers also naturally think everything is about them. In this case, we see everything from Harry's point of view, and he, as a teenager, is not capable of recognizing that adults might be caught up in their own problems. He's trying to fit it into a familiar pattern, and what he's coming up with is a sulky "Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me."

    As far as emotional abuse, well, Lupin did inflict some nasty emotional damage on Harry once in the 3rd book, didn't he? Guilt-tripping him about his parents' deaths. I always thought that was kind of mean of him. Harry can be very thick... it almost seems like the only way to make him quit doing something that could hurt him is TO hurt him (emotionally), because he doesn't respond to gentler tactics. I don't see this as Harry's fault. It's the way he grew up, and has to do with the skills that he lacks. Lupin IS wrong about him in that regard. However, if you think about the way Harry must come across to adults, it's not a rosy picture. I think he really does come across as stubborn, unreasonable, sneaky, disobedient, bratty, arrogant, and so on. We've seen time and again that he doesn't trust adults to know what they're doing. I'm sure that doesn't endear him to the adults who have to look after him. He might have a valid reason for not trusting adults, but to them it just seems like he's willfully continuing to do exactly what he was just told not to do. I really can't blame Lupin for not believing that Harry didn't let the Boggart out, for example. There was no difference, from an adult viewpoint, between that and some of the other ways Harry has gotten himself into trouble over the years. In some ways the burden is on Harry to change the way he is perceived, or at least give others a reason to step back and reconsider what they think they know.

    The thing that's going to be hard in this story is that Harry simply can't attain the kind of relationship with Lupin that would fulfill all his needs. There is going to have to be some reason for him to need something from Snape.

    I'm glad at least Snape is the way I wanted. Cold and indifferent. Just doing what has to be done, and ONLY because it needs to be done. HE certainly doesn't think Harry needs to be given any info. He'd be perfectly happy if Harry could be bullied into submission. Unfortunately Harry is used to being bullied.

    I think indifferent is worse than hateful. In a lot of Snape-is-Harry's-Dad stories, it turns out he was hateful because deep down inside he cared so much. In a way I think it must be easier to write it that way.

    I don't think it's going to be a dark story. They're stuck at Grimmauld Place right now, and that has a big impact on how they interact. That place is really not good for anyone -- look what it did to Sirius. They really need to get out of there.

    In any case, I don't do really dark stuff. No suicide, cutting, graphic violence, etc. So whatever happens, it isn't going in THAT kind of direction. I hope that makes you feel slightly better.


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