Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Life With Father 28 May 2007 2:17 am
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    Awww cute ending! Great chapter! :)

    Author's Response:

    I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.

Title: Life With Father 27 May 2007 8:57 am
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Ug, I hate Mary Sue's. I should learn to look for 'OFC' warnings *before* I read a story. I'm disappointed that your story might have one. (Let me guess. Serenity is somehow 'special' and therefore not really a Mary Sue, because you thought of her all by yourself. You even gave her a few token 'imperfections' to try and fool us. A big clue that she's a Mary Sue is the way that you seemed obsessed with her appearance. We have no idea what Tobias looks like, but we know that your Mary Sue has brown hair and blue eyes--something difficult for Snape to see in the dim light of a stormy night. You spent more time describing her appearance than you did with any one else.)

    You need a beta reader too by the way. If you have one, fire them and get one who speaks English.

    Author's Response:

    The first few chapters of my story are not beta'd, chapters 9+ are however. And though you may not believe me Serentiy will not have a huge part in this story for quite sometime. I won't claim that she isn't a Mary-Sue, but despite this chapter and one other she has a minimal part in the story. I only ask that you give her and the story a chance. I haven't had the oppurtunity to post everything I have written on this site, but everything through chapter twelve is posted on fanfiction.net. Here is the exact website: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3487010/1/ 

     As for having an obsesion with Serenity's apperance, she's the first non-snape related character I've had to describe so far, with the other's I tried to allow the readers imagination of what snape looked like to affect both Snape's father as well as Harry's new appearance. As I said before, all that I ask is that you give this story a chance to build.

    Thank you for the review.

    DaughterOfAres.


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