I’m so glad Tobias is seeing Eileen’s effect on Severus. He’s been so kind, stern, and levelheaded so far, but loses his compass around her. The scene with little Sev was heartbreaking.
Title: It Takes Two
| 19 Feb 2019 8:44 pm
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Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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I feel sorry for Tobias. He is torn between being a father and a husband, thank you for showing the difficulty so well.
Title: It Takes Two
| 21 Jan 2008 7:45 am
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Reviewer: Deco (Anonymous)
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i just found your story it was great but i don't like Eileen it seems like she loves them but then again it dosn't.....she's just evil but the storys good write more please
Title: It Takes Two
| 16 Jun 2007 10:03 pm
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Reviewer: Kateri (Anonymous)
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Oh, poor lil Sev. Great chapter
Title: It Takes Two
| 16 Jun 2007 5:58 pm
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Reviewer: angel (Anonymous)
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i think that snapes character is perfect the way u write it.
You have an interesting plot here, but I think it would be better as a work of original fiction, because I don't think Tobias, Severus or Harry has the background to be what you want them to be. I also think that more insight into the minds of everyone (a reaction, a thought, a quelled instinctive reaction, i.e. Vernon often calls Harry "Boy" in canon, therefore we would assume Harry's reaction to the term would not be pleasant. He should flinch or prevent the flinch several times when Tobias uses the term before making the adjustment, if ever.) Also, there are a lot of technical and spelling mistakes: "cloths" (washcloths?) instead of "clothes," "to" instead of "too," etc. Punctuation mistakes are frequent through the story, i.e. missing commas, semi-colons where they don't belong, etc. That being said, your plot for this story is a great one. Some parts are clearly inspired by outside influences (which is okay), and some ideas are clearly your own, most especially Tobias as a character and Severus as a psychologist. Keep writing, but I think you'd do better writing original fiction than fanfiction because of how you develop your characters.
Oh good! Tobias finally saw the light. Very good chapter. I loved the prank, too!
Another absolutly excellent chapter! I love the pranks they played on Eileen too. :)
oh this chapter made my chest ache. Poor Severus. Wonderful writing.
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