| Title: Letters and Secrets
| 13 Jan 2011 10:29 pm
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| Reviewer: Kristi (Anonymous)
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It was in 1981 when Barty Crouch Jr. and the Lestranges tortured Neville's parents. That would make Harry, Neville and your OC Amanda 1 and not 4 years old.
I was under the impression that Neville's parents were tortured before or very shortly after Harry's parents were killed. After all, the Death Eaters were rounded up very shortly after Voldemort's demise, and no one would want to risk Azkaban yet again by revealing themselves as Death Eaters three years after Voldemort was destroyed. You're pretty good at writing, and you clearly have a spell-check program that you're using, but I would recommend a beta-reader to edit a few things a bit. You have a good command of some aspects of language (i.e. using Mister for Lucius and Master for Draco), but some parts of the storyline could use some work. Also, you might want to cite that you're taking a lot more story from the books than is typical in fanfiction. I'm not a copyright lawyer, but I think you might be pushing your luck.
great chapter! I love how you relate everything, so while its AU, its also related to the real story and the storyline's not screwed up ^^ update soon!
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