lol, that last part was hilarious! :D 'A minute later found Severus Snape back in the chair, face in his hands.' That one was brilliant.
Wonderful. I really am enjoying this so far. I like Harry's mature thinking and I'm still giggling because of Snape's cauldron-printed sleeping robe. Actually I like a lot the mix of angst, irony and humour. Good work.
A request, though. Longer chapters. Pleeeease. And I suggest that now that Harry and Severus have "collided", you slow the pace a bit so we can enjoy a slow development between their relationship.
I'll be eagerly waiting for updates.
See ya!
Alexandra-
| Title: Collision
| 08 Jul 2007 2:50 am
|
| Reviewer: midnight rain (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
Interesting story!!!! Hope you can update soon!
Hi. I'm quite enjoying your story and the way the plot is working out. Harry's abilities are believable and I really appreciate the uniqueness of your idea.
However, I do think that things with Snape are progressing a bit quickly and that his characterization isn't quite right. Can you really see Severus saying "as if" even in his own mind? He's an adult. Sure, he's sulky sometimes, but has he ever really come across as anything less than sneering, sarcastic, and proud?
Please don't take this as discouragement. You do have the potential for a truly good story. Your first three chapters are excellent. You've drawn out the tension well. Just don't be in such a rush to get to the good stuff.
Great start to your story. So far, I think your characters are IC, except maybe Harry when he is dealing with Vernon. At least he managed to keep most of his thoughts to himself in that regard.
I'm looking forward to seeing how you further develop Harry and Snape's relationship. It promises to be a somewhat bumpy ride, doesn't it?
Anyway, thanks for sharing with us...
That was fun. I hope he turns back into Harry soon but Oliver is fun, too. Snape is funny with his potions, I love it!
Excellent story so far. I don't think you are going too quickly with these two characters since Snape does not know this is HP. If he did then he'd obviously harbor hatred towards him. I'm wondering how long Harry can hold the Oliver image before he gets tired.It should be rather interesting when Snape finds out this boy happens to be his dead enemies son. Anways this is a really good start so far and I look forward to reading more soon! :)
|