Thank you!  I mean that.  I posted the first nine chapters in one bunch and then started writing the rest one at a time.  I got a lot of reviews for that first bunch, many of which were very encouraging and instructive.  The most common complaint was my epic sized paragraphs.  I'm very sorry that I haven't changed them yet, but I'm working on that right now actually.  I'll repost the first five chapters tonight with improvements.

I do understand what you mean about showing rather than telling.  I've really been trying to work on that too.  I promise, if you can make it past chapter nine, there is a HUGE improvement in the writing ( I hope  :) ).  That's when I got all the great reviews and I really took every suggestion seriously.  I'm still improving, so if you read that far (pretty please) let me know what you think of the improvements and if there is anything else that I need to work on. 

I hope you enjoy the story and I look forward to hearing your thoughts again.  Thanks!!!!!