Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Word Up
Title: Chapter 6: What's in a Dream? 20 Jul 2007 5:57 am
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    Pretty good chapter. I'm glad they made it back to Hogwarts and received treatment for thier wounds.

    Just a little point out: "Remus felt his heart sore". I think it should be "soar"

    One more suggestion- try separating dialouge into new paragraphs like so:

    "Hello," said Harry.

    "Hi," said Ron.

    It makes it easier to follow the speakers when thier words are fully seperated.

    Author's Response:

    Hey!   Thanks so much for the responses.  I'll definitely be careful in the future with the dialogue and the spelling.  Microsoft Word is great for spell checking but sore and soar just doesn't come up.  I'll have to watch that. 

     I was really nervous since I've never posted anything before but your reviews made me feel great!  Whew!

Title: Chapter 5: The Thing About Duels 20 Jul 2007 5:40 am
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    Excellent chapter. I could practically imagine the scene playing out. A suggestion though, perhaps you should consider making some paragraphs shorter. It just seems like some paragraphs are quite long before breaking up into a new one.
Title: Chapter 4: Keep Up Or Meet An End 20 Jul 2007 5:00 am
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    I really liked Snape's character in this chapter. He was planning everything out as much as possible within a short time and he's making sure to do as much damage as possible. That's much better than other stories where he grabs Harry and runs. Posioning the wine and food was an excellent way to off a few death eaters. Burning the library and tossing out potions are also damaging the enemy and it just seems like he did an excellent job. I lke this so far!
Title: Chapter 3: So...You Don't Trust Me? 20 Jul 2007 4:46 am
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    You have some great lines in this story so far and this is only chapter three! I particularly liked this line: "move wolf, before I give into the temptation to make improvements to your face with my fist."
Title: Chapter 2: From Bad To Worse...Much Worse 20 Jul 2007 4:40 am
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    I really liked this chapter! Harry getting a few good shots at Dudley was very nice. Dudley deserved to get hit back after all his Harry hunting days. I especially liked when Harry managed to hit Bellatrix because she really is one evil... person. This line was great: "yes, I'll be displeased if you kill me too."
Title: Chapter 1: Warnings 20 Jul 2007 4:28 am
Reviewer: Alexis8907 (Signed) [Report This]
    Nice start. Moody never used an unforgivable curse? That's kind of shocking. I loved the ending with Snape cursing the portrait. :)

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