I'll just wait and see how this turns out.
The idea you have here is intriguing. The main thing I would suggest working on is your dialogue. Harry's "voice" is not perfect, but acceptable, but Snape doesn't sound the way I imagine him. I think you are trying to write his speech as more formal, but it felt stiff or stilted.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review and your suggestion. I am new to writing fanfiction, so it is not going to be as IC as I would prefer. Any suggestions you have for me would be accepted and appreciated. Thanks.
Interesting start so far. Its amusing how Snape blamed Harry right from the start.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
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