Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Halloween 25 Feb 2008 1:07 am
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) [Report This]
    This is an interesting story but you might consider reading over it again. In some places it is way too wordy and redundant. You over explain things. This section for example "“No, Ron, but I have never had access to as many books as I would have liked to read, and now I have the chance, which I’m very happy about. Besides, I don’t feel very well yet; therefore, I want to go to bed, but I need something to read, as I won’t be able to sleep so early. Enough of a reason for borrowing a book from the library?”"
    I understand the need for longer chapters but having a charcter, especially one that is supposed to be 11 using so many words to say "Ron, i want to read because i wasn't allowed to at home, plus i'm feeling sick" is going to turn readers off. Try to cut out unnecessary words or change words that are used over three times in teh same paragraph. Good luck and please keep improving.

    Author's Response:

    As stupid as Ron is he needs a thourough explanation for everything ;-)

    That has nothing to do with making chapters longer - on the contrary: I am trying to keep my chapters short because I have to translate them into German (my native language) later - and it's more than annoying to translate a long chapter!

Title: Halloween 21 Sep 2007 10:49 pm
Reviewer: Kristeh (Signed) [Report This]
    Oh, I'm sorry I missed a chapter. I got behind on reviewing some of my favorite stories last week, and I'm still trying to catch up.

    This is a wonderful chapter! Lots of interesting things are going on. It's too bad Harry and Hermione missed seeing Fluffy, but perhaps they'll get their chance later.

    I can sympathize with Harry's confused feelings about Snape. Will they ever discuss this issue and will Harry ever be able to explain about the note and that it wasn't his fault he was late?

    I'd pay good money to see Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint learning to cooperate with one another. In a way, that's even more unlikely than canon Snape and Harry getting along.

    I'm so glad that Harry trusted Snape enough to share his memories of the Dursleys and that the other professors are willing to protect him from his abusive relatives. And I really love your Snape--he's so kind and protective, although still a bit strict.

    Looking forward to more!
Title: Halloween 16 Sep 2007 11:01 pm
Reviewer: wolfawaken (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Wonderfull
Title: Halloween 16 Sep 2007 4:04 am
Reviewer: strangergirl86 (Signed) [Report This]
    Ahhhh! Evil cliffy! Otherwise Good chapter. I also like the revisions to the other chapters. Can't wait to find out how this goes.

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