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Reviews For Emerald Eyes
Besides, Harry doesn't listen. He panics, swears, follows his own ideas, runs around like mad - and Snape seems very patient, talking to him, letting him get the feelings out, even putting him to bed for the day when Harry got hysterical. Kudos to Snape for bearing it that long - I expected him to have Harry over his knee at the first sign of angst, telling Harry he was done with the histrionics and Harry can either get a hold of himself or start everyday with a spanking. I think Harry would come around pretty quickly with those options. But I'm enjoying reading this story and I can't wait to see where you take these characters. I'm enjoying the ride the whole way! Author's Response: Hey, Perry :) Thanks so much for letting me know that you're still reading my story. Yes, Harry is still Harry. In a way, he's improved, though. He and Hermione could have easily taken the last ten minutes before she left to search for the Chamber or could have been doing that all along, actually. Instead, he's gone to Snape. And true, Snape's been pretty patient with Harry, allowing him to speak his mind before throwing him over his lap for a spanking... But in this case, it's what Harry needs...more than punishment, I think. I've read a few stories where Snape is spanking Harry every five minutes, and it just doesn't seem to work. If a spanking is supposed to be that effective, Snape wouldn't have to keep punishing Harry for his rudeness/impulsiveness, etc. As for a stricter Snape, he'll begin to emerge with the last few chapters. He is allowing Harry one day to search with him, and that day will be orderly and productive or else. I think maybe I've just been around teenagers long enough to realize that they bounce back way too easily from chastisement... They'll be subdued for maybe an hour after a scolding, but then the next day, they're ready for another round of 'let's annoy the adults in any way we can'. I wanted to give Harry his customary defiant edge but also show a gradual change. It's annoying at times, yes. But so are twelve year olds. I have a twelve-year-old cousin who can be the most annoying thing on the planet, and her parents are quite strict. *shrugs* Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that this story has been a bit of an exploration for me in adolescent angst, attitude, etc. I try to make it as realistic as possible and stay true to the characters. But fear not: your strict Snape is just around the corner ;) I love that you're still reading this, by the way. Thanks for sticking with the story :)
A heartbeat that seemed to mimic Harry’s own at the moment." I just love this imagery. It's so very vivid. I really can see the parchment fluttering. I love the part at the end of the Hermione bit, with Harry realizing that maybe, just maybe Snape might actually care about him. Egads! LOL He's so clueless, it's adorable. I really liked your description of Harry and Snape out in the snow, with he snow, 'seeping into Harry's scalp' and making him shiver. It makes me shiver as well. And the scene between the two them at the end was so intense. It was riveting. Just back and forth and back and forth and Harry's worry just spiraling out of control and Snape's, "What has gotten into young man?" Well, I loved that. It's like Snape is completely at a loss to figure out what is up with Mr. Potter and I love that. He's not composed all the time. I love a bit of a fumbling Snape. This was a bit of genius: "as if the defiance would topple out of his trousers and onto the floor like stolen paraphernalia." I really liked that one. :oD And I loved that Harry just sort of collapsed on him. And I loved that Snape scolded him for it, citing that he was too young to act that way and Harry agreeing and being all embarrassed by his behavior. I've told you before, but the way you write Harry is just spot on. He's a child and I adore it. I can relate to him somehow. And I was very excited to see that Snape allowed Harry to stay against him for a moment. Just a hint of soft in the gruff sea that is your Snape. And he is gonna let him help! And Harry was so worried about him. Awww... It's like completely fluffy but almost not fluffy at all. How do you DO that? Well, genius. Just genius, Jade. I can't wait for the next intense installment. I don't know how you'll get more intense than this, but somehow I think you'll manage. Oh and I loved this line as well, "the hooked nose dipped and broadened as the potions master glanced down at the ruddy-cheeked boy." I can just see it! Great Chapter, Jade! Author's Response: You are the queen of proof-reading. Have I told you that? Thanks (again and again and again) for looking this over for me. It means a lot. Really. I love that you chose your favorite lines and shared them with me :) This was one of those chapters where Snape could have easily lost it and punished Harry right away. And I think that might have happened if Harry hadn't broken down at the end. Just the mention of a spanking calmed him right down, despite his defiance. It was more about Harry caring for Snape too much to allow him to just transport himself with Ginny's portkey. And as this chapter was from Harry's perspective, we have to simply deduce that Snape understood that ;) I'm really glad that you didn't find the end of this too fluffy or over-the-top, as I think it could easily have turned into that. I really try to balance Snape's original 'gruff' demeanor (as you put it) with his slow-growing affection for Harry. And I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the tense moments and considered them well-balanced :) I haven't read your glorious final chapter yet because I spent the morning at Starbucks and then getting my W-2 reprinted *blushes with stupidity* LOL. I'm going to hang up my laundry, and then I'm settling down to savor every word. I can't wait.
Great chapter and I can't wait for the next one. Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review, Tiffany :) Detail is something that I really try to work on without being overdramatic, so I really aprpeciate you pointing that out to me. I'll try to write the next one quickly, but I feel like my moments of inspiration are coming a bit slower than they used to, unfortunately... By the way, how's BaF coming?
i have a taste for characters who don't quite understand their own emotions even as they're feeling it strongly, and you are very good at portraying this. characters who don't fully understand their own emotions are so much more interesting because the story holds what they're experiencing instead of the narrative they make of their own experiences - for eg. instead of thinking to himself "i am feeling worried about snape," as a more self-aware character might do, harry just *feels* - he doesn't have the self-awareness to interpret and so the experience comes straight through to the reader, raw and powerful, like a recursion of the writing maxim "show don't tell" into the character himself. Author's Response: Harry's emotions have been so jumbled throughout this whole story, so I commend you for sticking with his angst for so long. LOL. It can get annoying, I know. I sometimes get annoyed when I write his character... But you've pegged my motive for writing him in such a way. And that's awesome. Thank you for the wonderful review :) I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! |
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