I love that Harry sounds and reads like a teenager. So many other stories he's supposed to be 15 or 17 or whatever, but it reads more like he's 9. Great job! Intriguing story too. Love Snape.
| Title: Whispers
| 16 Jan 2009 7:32 pm
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| Reviewer: Shauna (Anonymous)
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A pound is a pound is a pound. Muscle is more dense than fat. It takes more fat to make a pound than muscle, but two people can weigh the same and look totally different. It does not weigh more. But your story is good none the less.
("Your owl will be able to find us. Now hold onto me." he commanded and waited until Harry reluctantly did so. With a pop they were gone...)
They were still in Hogwarts. They wounldn't be 'POP'ing anywhere without a portkey or floo powder. No apperating thru the school's wards, remember?
wait... did you have Snape and Harry apparating from Hogwarts? i don't think that's possible.
this is a really good story but I have to comment upon your lack of basic english conventions- i.e. mechanics. grammar. whatever you want to call it. It could have some improvement. perhaps you might aquire a beta? I've never had one but they seem to help other people. Anyway, I love the story and hope you don't take it away or anything. just figured I'd mention the potential for improvement. that's one of the reason we writers write, right?
to be continued?! yes please! i have read countless fan fics but for some reason this one keeps going round in my head! so sad i know... i just like your characters please please write more im so impatient! x
| Title: Whispers
| 08 Mar 2008 12:07 am
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| Reviewer: sev4ever (Anonymous)
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i really like the story so far, harry having an eating disorder is really and original idea, i hope to see more soon.x
| Title: Whispers
| 07 Mar 2008 6:47 am
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| Reviewer: Monica (Anonymous)
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Please continue this, I love it.
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