Title: Whispers
| 04 Mar 2008 7:22 am
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Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous)
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Good story so far! Just one thing to add about grammar - You have many run-on sentences.
Eg. Snape nodded satisfied with his student's honesty and then shrunk his items slipping them into his pocket.
It would be better if you wrote:
Snape nodded, satisfied with his student's honesty, and then shrunk his items, slipping them into his pocket.
Then it makes more sense!
Keep writing!
Title: Whispers
| 04 Mar 2008 4:42 am
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Reviewer: Tetsubinatu (Anonymous)
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I am really enjoying this story, even though it has lots of little mistakes in it (Is English not your first language?) Anyway, keep it up! But remember that when you are going to or wanting to 'to' has one O, but when something is too much, too strong, too big, 'too' has two Os!
Title: Whispers
| 04 Mar 2008 1:59 am
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Reviewer: Alexandra (Anonymous)
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A-mazing! I love this story. Who doesn't love a little Harry-angst? Update, update, update!
Title: Whispers
| 03 Mar 2008 11:09 am
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Reviewer: caro (Anonymous)
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Completely loving this fic!! Hope you update soon!
I love this story. That yelp of Harry's when Snape laughed had me nearly in tears of laughter of my own. Great Story!
Title: Whispers
| 03 Mar 2008 7:23 am
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Reviewer: Emma (Anonymous)
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I entered therapy when I was about Harry's age. My therapist gave me a stuffed toy, a rabbit. I thought it was extremely childish, but I drew comfort from it over time. Perhaps Harry would also benefit from one?
I am really enjoying this story. I hope you update often.
Awesome story, love it. I really like Taki he seems intresting. Really looking forward to more, and to see what happens next. Keep up the awesome work and please update again soon. LES
Now an eating disorder? Ouch Harry really isn't doing too well. The way you write his attitude is perfect and seems realistic too. Great chapter and please update again soon!
I hope Harry doesn't try to drown himself, :( It would be kind of cool to see Snape's & Taki's reactions though. I love Taki! I can't wait for more! So please update soon! :)
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