I notice you're still getting mixed reviews. I don't think you should let that affect your writing. The story itself is very well written. Whether it feels believable depends a lot on your own internal consistency, which is so far quite good.
At this point, Snape assumes Harry to be lazy and arrogant, so a summer of work probably seems to him a way of keeping Harry in line. And Snape's over-the-top threats are really no more harsh from his threatening in school to have a student drink their own botched potion, or feed it to one's pet. Just as Harry actually believes that Snape might poison a student in school (Harry is pretty gullible where Snape's concerned), he'd believe Snape's threats at Spinners End. But Harry's also defiant, just as he defies Snape at school, willing (in canon) to even cause an explosion in Snape's class and steal from him.
I enjoy your stories even though canon-Snape actually tends to be physically nonagressive. With the one exception of when Harry looks in his pensieve, we only see him use physical force in defense or when he *has* to do it. But within the context of your stories it works.
This particular story is well-written and quite believable, and is different from the typical "Snape takes Harry to live with him" story. I'm enjoying it. Don't let uneven reviews concern you.
Something just is off with this and no it's not because of how you wrote your other stories. Harry is used to people treating him horribly during the summer. He is to much of a survivalist not to figure out how to placate Snape.
Ooohhh!!! Evil, evil Snape. It's hard to imagine a school-aged grudge still holding that much power over someone this many years later. Snape must have really been scarred by James and Sirius' treatment of him to still harbor this much resentment. He is just a mean, mean man. But if anyone can turn him into a better person (convincingly) it's you. If that is your plan. I don't know, maybe you plan on keeping him mean and grumpy for the whole story.
Poor Harry needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut. But I can't really see him being able to do that. Snape is just too infuriating.
I can only think that Harry is going to try to escape, but we can all imagine how that will turn out. Thanks for the update and take care...
| Title: Chapter 2 - Morning Talks
| 14 Nov 2007 8:34 am
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| Reviewer: Eva (Signed)
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Okay, this one at least made some sense but I still dont understand why Snape behaves the way he does. It was a good chapter, no doubt about it but it's a little too mysterious for me. I am afraid I am not much on mysteries. Rather impatient, I am. *shrugs*
Good chapter :) It's different and interesting to read.
This is so amazing, I can't even tell you. I love that you don't hesitate to make Snape the nasty git he can be. I love him and everything, but the way you write him is so much more realistic than most people - it's so refreshing not to have a Snape bending over backwards to help poor, unloved little Harry. And Harry is not pathetic! He fights back! I love this. I'd always thought of Snape as a poor man and was so frustrated when everyone placed him in mansions - your description of his house is actually the closest I've ever heard in fanfiction to what I've always imagined it as. The two rooms upstairs and two down, the tinyness, the depressing oldness - and the dog is a wonderful touch. I'm so excited to read the next chapter. Please update soon.
| Title: Chapter 2 - Morning Talks
| 14 Nov 2007 7:13 am
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Run, Harry, run!!!
Great chapter! Good thing Snape cut Harry off when he was trying to explain what he was doing standing on the bed. I don't think that trying to jump to the window to run away from him would have been the best thing to admit to Snape!
For some reason I really loved this line: "Snape belonged at Hogwarts down in the dungeons, not living in old houses with a really mean dog." Haha!
Typo: "The stairs creaked noisily as Harry when downstairs" went
I loved this line: "He expected it to taste like one of Snape's potions - disgusting and vomit-inducing. " Hahaha! Great descriptions in this chapter!
I liked how Snape took care of Harry, giving him an extra portion of breakfast even though he did it grudgingly. I wonder if Snape was reading Harry's mind about the porridge, or if Harry's body language was just too obvious.
Missing words: "Harry felt as if he were missing something, some part of the argument that changed the atmosphere, but he didn't know what. "I - what are you going to me?"" going to do to me?
"But I hope your stupid master falls over dead and no feeds you." no one feeds
Typo: He found an empty bucket in the corner and he took a tentatively step towards the outside door.
Great job- wow Snape is really a cruel beast! But i guess he's going to get Hedwig, right? Right? Hopefully. Poor owl! but if Harry has Hedwig, he'll owl for help, right?
I can't wait until he tries to escape but I guess there's more to happen before then.
| Title: Chapter 1 - Vampyr and a Bat
| 12 Nov 2007 3:53 pm
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| Reviewer: projectjay (Anonymous)
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Poor Harry talk about a rough night. He did deserve the first spanking for the lip he gave. But the hair cut and the second spanking in bed. It would serve Severus right if his hair all grew back the next morning. but love this story and all that you have written.
| Title: Chapter 1 - Vampyr and a Bat
| 11 Nov 2007 12:31 am
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| Reviewer: Saigo (Anonymous)
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This is amazing! I love it! *sob* poor Harry.
| Title: Chapter 1 - Vampyr and a Bat
| 10 Nov 2007 2:54 pm
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| Reviewer: Carrie2sky (Anonymous)
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Wow, this is pretty good. It is a different take than some of your other stories, but I do like it a lot! I really hope you will continue this, so we can find out what will happen to Harry and why Snape is such an evil git.
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