Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Chapter 1 23 Apr 2009 4:33 am
Reviewer: Pandora (Signed) [Report This]
    Nice start. I'm looking forward to where you're going with the story. I wonder what Snape thinks now of the supposedly spoilt Potter!
Title: Chapter 1 05 Jan 2008 10:17 am
Reviewer: celestialuna (Signed) [Report This]
    good start.
Title: Chapter 1 19 Nov 2007 9:25 pm
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    Nice start! For some reason, I feel like maybe this has been translated from another language. Do you speak another language?

    Well I liked how Snape waited and bottled his potions, before visiting Harry. it was nice how he was too curious not to.

    I do not like the thoughts in the story, they seemed awkward, and strange. You might want to try writing them more like dialogue, as if the person were actually talking to another person. They feel a little random and disjointed the way they are. For example, "Ha, no! Wait where was I?" compared to Harry suddenly felt confused, 'Where am I?'. It has a different voice and feeling. Usually when thoughts are used as dialogue, they use the single quotation marks, like you use, but when they are more like thoughts, they are italicized,. But that's a style thing.

    I really liked how Snape just walked into Harry's room, saw the bars, and then told Harry to wake up. Not many people have Harry resting like that. Nice ending to the chapter!

    Author's Response: Thanks for the advice and the review, I hope that the next update is better and you'll feel it too.
Title: Chapter 1 11 Nov 2007 4:26 am
Reviewer: Snarky Becky (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Your story would be a lot better if you took the time to read over it and correct the typos. You should also get a beta reader to help you with your spelling and grammar.

    Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the advice and now, I do have a Beta-reader. So, I hope that you read my story when it's updated!
Title: Chapter 1 09 Nov 2007 11:01 pm
Reviewer: pottersprincess (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Good try, but you need to work on your organization, the narrative style is distracting because it jumps all over the place.

    Author's Response: I am working on it and thanks for the review. I hope that you'll continue reading.
Title: Chapter 1 09 Nov 2007 3:54 pm
Reviewer: mamaduck (Anonymous) [Report This]
    A very good start. I always like to see Snape's illusions about Harry's life dismantled. The comments from the portraits re Dumbledore and Slytherin were funny - and appropriate for his actions. Write more, post soon! Mamaduck

    Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and yes, I always did like it when Snape's foundations regarding Harry were...wrong. I am glad that you liked the comments.
Title: Chapter 1 09 Nov 2007 2:46 pm
Reviewer: Trueangelofdark (Signed) [Report This]
    fantastic start. very curious about where this will go next. update soon. Luv Trueangelofdark

    Author's Response: Thanks for the review and I hope you read my story however late the updates are.*looks for a place to hide*
Title: Chapter 1 09 Nov 2007 12:37 pm
Reviewer: topaz (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Ooh! Severus saves the day! Hope so!

    Author's Response: Thanks for the review and I am extremely sorry for the late response!! I hope you continue to read my story though it's pretty slow. *grimaces*
Title: Chapter 1 09 Nov 2007 12:26 pm
Reviewer: bellatrix (Signed) [Report This]
    Great beginning, I'm excited to know what happens next!

    Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, I hope to have another chapter posted today itself. Sooo, I hope that you would read it.
Title: Chapter 1 09 Nov 2007 10:08 am
Reviewer: curlybean (Signed) [Report This]
    Good start to your story. I loved the fact that Snape was indignant that the Dursley's would lock Harry in his room. Who thought that would ever happen? Wait until he finds out that they practically starve him as well.

    Can't wait to find out what happens next. Thanks for sharing...

    Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!!! I am a little nervous about the feedback. I had it on other site and there were good reviews so now I have become greedy and I want them more.*smiles*  Weellll, Harry is not exactly going to be starved in this story but you would see more of Dursleys in future. Not for a long time, though.

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