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Reviews For Lily's Charm
Thank you for venturing into these dark places in them and writing this. It must have been extremely difficult to capture this kind of self-hatred (I'm still shivering at Severus's words at the beginning... "how could his son love a creature so wretched, so foul as he? He was a man filled with hate, with such darkness that there was nothing but cruel bile"). Oh, Severus. While it's true that he's let his worst nature take over on plenty of occasions, it's painful to hear him think like this just after he's taken himself away from his son so as not to hit him. A man who is thoroughly cruel would not saved his child like that (and would not have been able to have the conversation they later had out on the sofa). And same goes for Harry... how he thinks he's a worthless son because of some horrible things he says, and totally disregards his remorse over it and the many great things he's done for his father. I thought that was a lovely conversation on the sofa. That's actually when I began to cry, because it was such a potent mix of their persistence insecurities yet at the same time a very hopeful sort of conversation too. Severus got it right the second time and was able to demonstrate his point about Harry's behavior while showing concern and being reasonable (I laughed a little at Harry's, "You mean, I'm allowed to hex students?!") He was able to show Harry that he understands his son's emotions. Instead of shouting that it was wrong of Harry to hit Pinth (which is hypocritical, given Severus's own impulses and his need to punch out Filch), he was basically saying, "I understand that you were angry, you had a right to be, but you still need self-control. Your emotions weren't wrong, but the course of action you took was." That's an important thing for Harry to hear... that he's allowed to feel emotions naturally, that he's not supposed to suppress them to please others. However, it's how he acts on them that counts. This will be important for his relationship with Severus too. He can't go denying that he's mad at Severus when he is, or that he's hurt or whatever. I can tell how disturbed Severus was at the promise Harry had made, never to upset his father. Harry needs to know that it's safe to feel even unpleasant emotions, and this knowledge I think will help him better exercise self-control. And I'm so glad he told Harry that he's proud of him. That's probably the part I cried the most. Because it's such a powerful thing for Harry to hear - that even now, after they've had a fight and Harry said some cruel things - his dad still loves who he is (shoot, I'm getting teary writing this now - how on Earth did you get through his chapter?) I also like Severus's punishment. Harry will get to see his friends during the day, and then can hang out with his dad in the evening. It balances things for him, as he really wasn't ready to leave his home and venture out to classes to begin with. But here Severus is saying that he trusts that Harry can start up classes again, but that he also knows what his son needs and that as the father he's drawing boundaries (and again, it's another message of, "this is your home, you're always welcome here"). Plus he'll love the chance of having Harry around. They both need to be with each other. And finally, Remus... I so love the faith he's been showing in Severus, but that he took Ginny's words to heart and decided to check up on them. He's so easygoing and reasonable, and I think he's making good progress with this one-sided friendship business... though really, it's not one-sided after all, I mean, Severus actually let him stay in the lab and actually shared some of his concerns about Harry (what is the world coming to?) Great job on this chapter. I hope you take a well-deserved rest after writing it! Author's Response: Harry and Severus are very much alike, it's true. Both full of self-doubts and yet so much concern for the other. Selfless. Their insecurities are very similar and very sad as well. Yeah, Severus really does need to take a step back and figure out that he really is not so bad after all. He's made some terrible mistakes in his life, but yeah, he's done so much for Harry. Just his selflessness in this alone is enough to atone for so much. He didn't have to go back and forgive Harry everything and be so willing and wanting to sit and talk through everything with Harry, but he does. I'm so glad you felt all the emotions that they went through when they were talking. It was very hopeful. Harry is finally getting that Severus is not going to toss him away and that the way he feels is valid. They both are still hurting so much but it got better through that and Harry is beginning, just like Lupin said, to feel secure with everything. And yeah, Severus was very disturbed by Harry's vow never to anger him again. He has always worried that Harry acts a bit too wary around him and listens out of fear...those emotions are closely tied in with how he feels about his own father and he really doesn't want that sort of relationship with his son. And he doesn't want Harry to be so concerned with pleasing him because he's afraid. LOL I did have a very hard time getting through this chapter. I could barely see the screen at a few points. Sev's pride was definitely one of them. But as Harry has never experienced real unconditional love, he needs to hear this! Severus and Harry do need to be with each other. That punishment was important because it mirrored what Ron and Neville were getting and I think Harry really has a need to feel that Severus will treating him like a real son and not be so afraid that he will crack at the barest movement and yes, it was important as well because it allows them time to continue bonding, something that Harry desperately wants. Remus is wonderful and don't think Severus doesn't know that he didn't come barging in earlier, like some other wizards! LOL Severus is opening up slowly, though I don't think he really means to. He doesn't even realize how much he misses have a friends. Poor man. Thanks so much! I do need a break. LOL
I think he showed great control to get himself out of the room before he hurt his son. Tearing up a room is better striking his son. And, oh my, like father like son is tearing up a room. Yep, after that outburst, Harry not only needed to be punished, he wanted to be punished. Punishment isn't evil. (If Severus ever discovers that Harry threw down his wand and attacked, he will probably have a heart attack.) Harry did something wrong, he knows it and he is willing to face the consequences. Only this time, the punishment will fit the crime and be down with love. Blew, great chapter, I will have to go back and reread. Author's Response: Yeah, it was pretty hard to write...emotionally exhausting! He does carry around a lot of guilt but it's pretty understandable really. I only touched on it a bit this chapter, but he was not treated well by either of his parents, abused by his father...never felt loved. It's a hard thing to get past. It's not that he's blaming himself for Harry saying that, only that he recognizes that Harry should still be allowed to be upset over it. He's not really big into the idea that Harry should keep his feelings to himself and sure, Harry should have gone about it in a nicer way, but those things needed to be said. LOL Yeah, though Sev does have some great control there. Tearing up a room is definitely better. I'm glad you liked the chapter. I feel the same way. Blew. LOL :o)
I am, however, glad to see that Lupin is determined to become Severus' friend, no matter how difficult Severus will make it. I do wonder why Severus assigned the two week punishment of not seeing his friends to Harry. How is that supposed to help? Author's Response: It's not as if he won't be seeing his friends. Only not after dinner. I think he'll survive and believe me, our little Potions Master has a method to his madness. And some of it was trying to give Harry a bit of the normalcy he is so desperately seeking. And too, Ron and Neville won't be seeing their friends either while they're scrubbing toilets and neither would Harry if he had been given the same punishment by Minerva. That's rather the point... Also, Harry still has work to catch up on and if he's home with Dad, I'm sure the two of them can have some nice chats while they brew... :o) It was a very difficult chapter to write. I'm glad you felt that knife twisting though. I cried through a good portion of it. It was hard to see the keyboard! I feel bad for both our guys, but the healing is finally ready to begin now that Severus is in a place where he can be less stringent in his emotional guarding and Harry doesn't have to be so afraid that he'll be tossed out on his ear. Yes, our Lupin is determined and there was a bit of a crack in Severus' facade there...he's most likely gonna lose this war against Remus. :oP
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :o) |
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