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Reviews For Never Say Remember
One thing I especially liked in this chapter was the subtle glimpse of how damaged our Harry really is as a result of growing up at the Dursleys. It isn't just Snape's presence that makes him feel awkward at Spinner's End. It's the fact that he's utterly unused to normal family life. That his guardians should want to spend time with him or come to his room to tell him goodnight thoroughly confounds him because he has never experienced it. That is so sad and yet, so very real, given Harry's history. I like that you have marked which chapters are AU versus our universe. I wrote out a chart for the numbering scheme so I could keep track, but this is much more convenient. There is one thing I do want to mention - the only thing that feels off in the story is the way the characters sometimes refer to one another. For instance, in chapter 10 Harry tells Snape, "Lily's our connection. She always will be." Regardless of the situation, I can't believe that 13 yo Harry would refer to his mother as Lily, especially when he's in such an emotional state. Surely he would say, "Mum's our connection." Likewise, in this chapter Lily makes the following comments to Harry: "Sev's parents were always a bit grim..." and "Talking to Severus was like hearing about a fairy tale..." This isn't the way a mother speaks to her child about his father. "Your dad's parents" or "Talking to your father" would be the norm here. On top of making the dialogue sound more natural, the intimacy of using "mum" and "dad" in these situations would also accentuate the relationships that both Snape and Harry are desperately trying to ignore and would deepen their ambivalance in these scenes. This is the only fault I can find in an otherwise spectacular story. This remains my favorite current WIP on any site and it is among my top 10 favorite fanfics of all time. Thank you for taking the time to write this. Author's Response: You're welcome! The rough draft was a case of compulsive writing--I was exorcising the story images circling my brain. The re-write has taken more time than I anticipated, but reading that my efforts are appreciated encourages me. I've wanted to make writing a daily habit, and this has helped me with that. I agree--Harry's not just angry--he's confused, and trying to understand a new kind of home life. "I like that you have marked which chapters are AU versus our universe. I wrote out a chart for the numbering scheme so I could keep track..." That tells me more than anything that I should have done this sooner. Sorry, everyone! This is why I appreciate constructive criticism. I was so involved in the story that I didn't realize it was confusing. Or at least, not until I got a few reviews mentioning that. I need the reactions of readers so I can see the story through other eyes. "the only thing that feels off in the story is the way the characters sometimes refer to one another" I see what you mean. I did give it a passing thought when I wrote those lines, but decided against it for various reasons. In the Lily/Harry conversation, for example, I was trying to avoid constant "He's not my dad!" interruptions. But you're right-character should come first, and it would elaborate on how two characters can perceive the relationships around them differently. I'll go back soon and fix that. Thank you for your thoughts & reactions!
Is this because, for her, it will be the first time of hearing it and so he can never really get closure on the past? Or am I reading way too much into those few sentences? What a great idea to force veritaserum so Harry can't help but tell the truth. I think that Snape will also be learning more than he really wants to know tonight. Thanks for the great update. Author's Response:
"Is this because, for her, it will be the first time of hearing it and so he can never really get closure on the past?" Yes, exactly. She cannot remember the previous times he's told her, so it's difficult for both of them every time. His only consolation is that, even though she knows she'll forget again, she never leaves him. Yes, I know: angst. :)
Oh, Sev and Harry , be careful what you wish for. Author's Response: So true. I'm happy to hear you're so involved in the story. :)
Author's Response: My pleasure. :) When I get tired of re-writing, the reviews keep me going.
Author's Response: Harry has a lot of anger, some of it reasonable and some of it unreasonable. Much like the rest of the human race, I imagine. Thank you for posting!
Author's Response: Thank you! Great name, by the way. :)
I feel really bad for him. Meeting his mother is something that he's always dreamed of, only he has to deal with the last person on Earth that he would be friendly with. I feel like Harry needs to be hugged and hit in turns. He really needs to understand the situation more, and not be so thoughtless, but those things take time and experience, and that isn't something that he has access to. Nevertheless, Harry acts very selfishly and maliciously in this chapter. You've also done a good job showing how Harry is slowly accepting the possibility of Snape not being mean and malicious (at least until Harry screws up royally). It was also quite sad when Lily revealed that she knows something is wrong with her, every time she wakes up, every time someone looks at her with pity. It is a very difficult situation to live in, but you depict it quite beautifully. There is an understated courage present in the alternate world's characters that is both touching and heartbreaking. Excellent chapter. Author's Response: I wanted to capture the psychology of being a thirteen-year-old, especially one who hasn't had the benefit of parental love. He's trying to take care of himself and others, because that's what he's used to. He lets his past hurts with Snape spill out in petty ways. Essentially, he's learned to survive a difficult life in a certain way, and that way is turning out to be dysfunctional in this new environment. I also wanted to show that Lily was still Lily, despite the curse.
Thank you for sharing your reaction and the kind words.
Author's Response: I liked using something as relatively innocuous as a broom to bring out emotions that were just below the surface. Thank you for the review!
The scene with Lily and Harry was so emotional it made my stomach hurt while reading it. I absolutely love this, but I've mentioned that already :) Keep posting. I'm officially addicted. Author's Response:
Thanks! This was one of my favorite chapters to write. Wow, I slow down when I'm reading a good book. That's so flattering. :) |
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