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Reviews For A Shocking Discovery
Author's Response: Thank you anon. I am very glad that you found the story and that you are enjoying it so far. I hope you continue to do so. ~Lesley~
Anyway- killer little cliffhanger! I hope Snape handles it with grace and is veryyy reassuring even if he is still semi-furious. I like the idea that Snape isn't just trying to be mean to Harry or something, he genuinely needs Harry to realize whether he wants this relationship or not. And Harry's struggles over using the floo-box gift! Awww soo heartwarming and classic Harry! Great stuff- can't wait for the next chapter! Author's Response: Thanks for getting back to me and reassuring me that you liked the chapter. I am glad. Sorry about the cliffie. Lesley~
As for the story, I am enjoying it immensely. I like how you've written Harry, especially when he's angry. And he should be angry! Well done! Snape is a favorite character of mine so naturally I came with my own ideas of how he should act, but I've found your Snape believable, both with canon and the events in your story. I cringe when he's cruel just to keep up appearances and I applaud when he coldly analyzes. The other characters are well written as well, and though I get mad at Ginny for glaring so much, I truly believe she'd do that. And I like her loyalty to Harry. This is the first fiction I've read that has considered any damage to Voldemort due to the ministry fiasco. That was very thoughtful of you. The review is long, but I waited until I read through the whole of what you've written before posting. So, great job. I really enjoy your story. And thank you very much for writing it. Do take care to guard yourself from illness or accident as I'd hate to have to wait too awfully long for an update. LOL! Thanks! Author's Response: Thank you for a very comprehensive review. If there are mistakes with quotation marks, it is purely accidental...I know precisely when to use them and when not to. As for commas...well, sometimes it is hard for me to decide if i need one here or there. After rereading the same sentence many times, sometimes one might seem necessary in a particular spot and another read through makes me think perhaps not. I often think it is a personal choice...it is not a case of definitely right or wrong. I do have a writing guide--my daughter did an editing course and I am using her text, 'Handbook for Writers and Editors'. Quite a few of my mistakes are typos because I am no typist...I never learned proper technique. I haven't got a beta. I don't think i would be able to cope with the delay before posting once I have finished the chapter. I read it out loud to my husband...he is my unofficial beta. He occasionally picks up on a discrepancy, but by reading aloud, I usually find my own mistakes. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story...Harry in particular. I sometimes get annoyed with people being so down on this poor kid. With everything he has been through in his very few years, it amazes me that he isn't a whole lot worse than writers often portray him. I don't think that it is so terrible of HArry to become distressed to find out that his newly acquired father is brewing a poison that is most definitely not a weed killer. Especially as Harry is the antithesis of Voldemort. I love writing Snape and DD. And as for Ginny...well, she is just trying to stick up for Harry, and as she thinks Snape is hurting Harry, her feistiness comes to the fore. And I think Ginny Weasley would be very feisty, just like her mother. Thank you again for reviewing and I hope to hear from you again. ~Lesley~
‘fool's rush in where angel's fear to tread' persona' I think you mean fools and angels without the apostrophe. And again here- Kid's mouthed off all the time. I think you just wanted the plural without the apostrophe Theres also something weird about the formatting here, so that I'm not sure if this is actually intended to be dialogue or not because it doesn't have quotation marks >>Time apart from me might enable you to ponder the future with me as your father. You don't appear to be willing to separate the past from the present. Author's Response: You are right of course. Unfortunately, I don't pick everything up when I reread the chapter. And the last was dialogue. Sorry. But apart from pointing out the mistakes, did you enjoy the chapter? ~Lesley~
Author's Response: Exactly! HArry has just seen first hand that this man whom he has to call father is REALLY a murderer and that he really does make lethal poisons. Sev should have sat him down and discussed things. Even though Harry worked most of it out in his head later on, that is never as good as hearing an explanation. Sev is too busy being on the defensive. As I said in another review, Sev has got to realise that he is no longer an island...all his actions affect Harry now. Harry has an innocence about him that makes it inconceivable to him that anyone could willingly go out there and kill another person. Of course Snape is no longer doing it willingly, but I am sure he did once upon a time. I mean, HArry even tries to save his enemies when it comes to the crunch as was demonstrated in DH. He and Sev definitely need to do some more talking though. ~Lesley~
Author's Response: Yes, Harry leaps before he looks, there is no denying that. But would it have hurt Sev to give a bit of an explanation? I don't think so. IMHO, Snape is just as much at fault as HArry. How would you feel if you just had it proven to you that your father was a murderer when up till then, it had only been a vague concept in the back of your mind? My, aren't we getting serious here? Thanks for another great review, ~Lesley~
Author's Response: Thought you had, but thanks for letting me know with this, your second review, Tab. I take it that you saw the comment in another response I wrote. ~Lesley~
Author's Response: Thanks for your review, Phoenix1. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Can't tell you waht is going to happen. What would be the point of leaving you hanging if i answered all your questions here? Heehee. ~Lesley~
Author's Response: Thanks Kim. What a lovely compliment. i'm thrilled that the story moves you so much, though i don't want you getting sore eyes and a headache on my account. I'll have to write something to cheer you up. ~Lesley~
Great interactions as usual. Snape is being so...Snape...that he doesn't realize he needs to give Harry information and "quality time" to gain the trust of his son. Harry is too busy feeling ignored and holding onto the past that he can't consistently see how much the man is trying. Sounds about right for those two! Harry's question at the end: didn't see that coming. I was prepared for more teen anger (justifiable or not), so the angst at that precise moment really 'threw me for a loop', as the saying goes. Excellent way to keep your readers hanging on to the next chapter! LOVED the scene with Albus; he is soooo in trouble now. :-) Nice job~~Kay Author's Response: Hi there kedots, thanks for your review. I'm very glad you enjoyed the chapter. And you're so very right. Both of our heroes need to take a good hard look of themselves. Sev needs to go to 'father school' and Harry needs to go to 'son school'. Harry has never had any experience of being a son, after all. He was nothing but a burden at the Dursleys. and of course Sev has absolutely no experience of being a father..being head of house is different IMHO because his emotions are not involved. But at least HArry knows he has done something wrong. He just doesn't have any control over his wayward tongue. Sev however, is busy being the injured party, not realising that he too is in the wrong. Glad you liked the scene with Albus. ~Lesley~ |
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