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Reviews For Slave Child
I will continue reading but to be honest, if I were cranky from RL stress, which happens often, I probably would have stopped here. The whole latter part of the chapter - the discussion about Draco's fate - pushed me way beyond the believability edge. There is simply no believable way to make either Albus, Severus or Harry behave the way they did in this chapter. I've turned the whole thing a dozen times over in my head and it just doesn't work. For Albus and Severus to believe Azkaban the only solution, for Harry to be the one to say things like - A. won't help him, on the contrary - when we have men, adult, mature men there at that moment to him being the only one advocating a different solution (especially in that constellation of events i.e. slavery spell, the paper revelation etc) to the coup de grace of Draco as 'slave' - you simply pushed too far and the believability factor went out the window. Just a tad milder, a tad more toned down and it wouldn't have been so grating, so jarring. Anyway, I do intend to read on, it's a good story and I understand this chapter was probably difficult to write as we are dealing with extreme situations and authors are then forced to swim outside of their familiar waters, so to say. Author's Response: Well, obviously, I disagree or I wouldn't have written it. It seems to me that there are plenty of times in canon when the adults were not particularly wise or mature or handled situations in the best way. Whether you continue reading or not is up to you, of course.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I just love Harry and I think he is an amazing kid, too.
Author's Response: Thank you! I really appreciate your support and encouragement. It means a lot to me!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.
I also have issues with the way that Draco is portrayed. I understand that you put that he is being OOC, but still. I think a better way for him to have reacted would be with anger. If he's angry enough at Harry to expose his secret to the world, then he would be angry enough when he was saying that Harry took everything from him--he might even blame Harry for the death eaters lashing out at him and his mother because Harry defeated Voldemort--who knows? I would have liked to have seen anger, not tears. Perhaps held back tears, but not the sort of weak, sobbing image we're left with. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can either make Draco angry and defiant or weepy and sympathetic, but it is very odd to attempt to do both. Good job overall! Update soon! Author's Response: Thank you! Well, I don't want to see Harry punished by the spell, I think he's been through enough...but there was an actual reason why the spell has not acted that would have been explained by the end. I don't know if it would have been a good reason, but it was a planned decision. Draco was difficult to write, and I did struggle with him. But at this point, I did see him as somewhat unpredictable and torn by conflicting emotions. He is angry, grieving, and frightened. He lashed out at Harry without thinking through the consequences, but once he was facing the music, he was pretty scared, and then just talking about the experience of being tortured and seeing his mother die was just too much for him to retain control. Thank you.
As for Dumbledore. I don't think he's OOC. In the books he essentially manipulated Harry for all his life. And the it's-for-the-greater-good thing was really two-faced, imo. And of course I also like a bit of Dumbles bashing - grin. I don't however feel any compassion for Draco, or at least not yet. I'm glad that you don't intent to make him Harrys brother, although even that wouldn't stop me from reading your story. The 'slavery-treatment' might even make him think about the whole blood purity bias of his. If I might utter a wish: Make his stay at Prince Hall dreadful - he earned it. I'm also yearning for some hope for Harry - some tiny reflection of a possibility of freedom to-be perhaps? I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words. >>>I'm also yearning for some hope for Harry-some tiny reflection of a possibility of freedom to-be perhaps? I was planning on a happy ending for everyone, especially Harry, who is always my favorite. Thanks again!
Since your review was not a flame, and you worded it respectfully, I was not referring to you. I'm sorry, but I get a little passionate when I see a very gifted writer like Kristeh, get upset and want to discontinue a wonderful story, because of thoughtless reviews by thoughtless individuals. Kristeh wants to stop writing this story now, and I'll be honest, that really upset me. If some of the reviewers, and again this is not directed at you, had of taken the time to give respectable, constructive criticism, then I wouldn't have gone off on anyone, but a couple of reviewers were downright cruel in their criticism and they didn't leave a "review", they left a flame. Again, for anyone that has left a polite, respectable review, even if it was to say that are disappointed in the story, I aplogise as coming off as rude, but that spiel was not directed at you. There is was review in particular that I was directing my anger at. I'm sorry if it was inappropriate, and I'm actually a very even-tempered person, until someones hurts a friend, or someone I think doesn't deserve it, then watch it! I'm glad that you will give this story another chance, and please forgive me Kristeh, if I've embarrassed you, or crossed the line here by responded so forcefully to the flames that you received. I think that this story has a lot of potential and I really hope that those who expressed disappointment will give it another chance, and see where the story goes, before you write it off. Again, I'm sorry. I know I wasn't nearly as professional, or as classy as Kristeh was in her responses. You know that it's only because I staunchly defend my friends. Again,please forgive me Kristeh if I've embarassed you. |
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