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Reviews For Slave Child
I thought your response was valid and eloquent like your writing. I don't think there's any problem with OOC Dumpldeore based on your reasoning, I wasn't trying to ruin your story. On the slavery point, thanks for clarifying (hope it hasn't ruined the tension for others), it was just offputting the way I interpretted the plan. I think your depiction of Harry and and his response to the situation has been very well written and valid (possibly why I had such a strong impulsive reaction). Thanks for clarifying the story direction anyway. Not many fanfic writers are professional, but you have the potential although that's not whats important. Nevertheless, your writing style is clean and credible so it will be a pleasure to continue. Take care J Author's Response: Thank you very much, Jenny. I really appreciate your kind words.
I don't often get much time to review, so try to do it at the end of a story once I've appreciated all the angles. I have some stories which I follow carefully, such as yours through your group, and even if I was to discontinue reading SC I would await your other works. I'm not asking you to change your story, but I can't guarantee feedback at the end as I had planned. I've been reading fanfic for 16 years, HP fic for 3. I have a good idea of what storyline (there being only 7 basic narrative as a basis for all)/pairings i'll like or try, which warnings to avoid, and I have no issue with Draco/Sev/Harry combinations (although I read only a rare few stories without Harry now). I am not put off by the latter, (Draco's not a fave character of mine, but he's entertaining) so please don't presume my review was instigated by my dislike of a Draco centric plot line, its the purposeful enslavery of a minor and Dumbledore's manipulation unprevented by Sev that I have issue with, and consider just a bit too OOC. Sorry, like I said, I previously enjoyed (and will continue to follow) your writing and softness. Please may I respectfuly advise you however not to condone fellow reviewers (on here, ff.net or your group) resorting to name calling, its not necessary and is not in the spirit of feedback. Not that I'm condoning any review content or your right to reply. As it happens, the reviews i'm referring to were posted before mine. Kind regards, sorry for the poor grammar, I hate writing in this little box. J Author's Response: Hi, Jenny, I have started over on my response 3x because I want to find the right words to respond, and I'm still not sure if I am. You are being considerate and polite, and I appreciate that and I respect your opinion. I would not ask you or anyone else to delete your messages. Everyone has a right to his/her opinion. Let me speak first to the matter of Dumbledore's manipulation. I actually agree that it is a weak spot and OOC to the Dumbledore in my story. It is a plot device because I needed to get Draco to Prince Hall and it was very difficult for me to think of a way to do so. Now that Severus is Harry's father and is so upset and angry with Draco, I did not believe that he would want to allow Draco there, unless Harry agreed as well. I could not think of a way to get Harry to agree unless he came to feel some degree of sympathy for the other boy and wanted to spare him from Azkaban. The only way I could come up with was for Dumbledore to be involved. It is a stretch. But I am not a professional writer. Fanfic is only a hobby and all I can do is my best. Draco was not going to be under a enslavement spell. He would have been presented with the choice of going to work for Harry and Severus at Prince Hall or facing a trial and prison. I suppose I saw it as somewhat similar to a 'community-service' type sentence and I think it would have enabled Draco to have a greater understanding of how badly he had harmed Harry and to have empathy for others. Since beginning Slave Child, I have done a lot of thinking about the message it might send. There have been times when I have been almost scared because it seems to me that sometimes people are crediting me with being more intelligent and savvy than I truly am. I never intended to make any grand philosophical statements. I am simply playing with an idea and with characters that I love. But I realized that I did not want to appear to send the message that I support or believe in slavery. Very much the opposite. I have tried to show that, despite Severus' love and all of his attempts to reassure Harry, that Harry is still devestated by the slavery spell, that it has had a profound effect on him. I had intended, by the end, to have an anti-slavery message. At least I intended to try to show that. I don't know how well I would have succeeded.
Author's Response: I'm not sure how to respond. Thanks, I suppose.
Author's Response: Thank you. I think some of Draco's ability to 'hold up' was because for a long time, he was simply numb and shut off. Also, he might well have taken opportunities to sneak off alone to grieve. It would be really hard for him to allow anyone to see him vulnerable, but I think that his control was only a thin veneer and with the confrontation with Dumbledore and Severus, it finally cracked.
Author's Response: Thank you. I have always thought the same of Azkaban, though perhaps some people like Bellatrix deserve it.
Author's Response: Thank you. I admit that DD's idea was a weak spot, but it was a plot device.
I feel for Draco at this point. He was expecting Snape's help after such a traumatic even and he was turned away harshly. And Harry's reaction shows just how noble he is; he is willing to help even somebody who has made his life miserable. Author's Response: Thank you. Yes, it was hard for Draco when he was counting on Severus' help, and Harry is a very noble person.
Harry's response to Draco is simply not credible given the shame and humiliation Draco has inflicted upon him. And as others have already pointed out, you're violating the story parameters that you yourself set up. You're a very gifted writer; you can do better than this(and if your readers didn't think so, they wouldn't bother wasting their time giving you critical feedback). Author's Response: Which parameters would I have been violating? Draco was not going to be under an actual spell. It would have been his choice whether to go to work at Prince Hall for Harry and Severus, or to face a trial. I do not believe that would have violated any terms. Do you mean that it is not credible that Harry would have had sympathy for Draco upon learning of the other boy's experiences? I disagree. I believe that Harry is an extremely compassionate person. I'm sorry if you were disappointed, but as I've said, all I can do is my best.
Author's Response: Hi, there. I'm afraid I don't know. |
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