Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: PERSUADED 23 Jun 2008 10:07 pm
Reviewer: Scorpia (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow, this looks dofferent from all the other stories I have seen on here. Good begining.
Title: PERSUADED 05 May 2008 8:28 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    I liked the opening. There was one thing that confused me: I didn't know what Vernon was carrying. I thought that it was a real baby, or a distorted yuk Volemort or something. You should make it clearer about the fact that Vernon is holding a drill.

    this part:

    Vernon's face expression was somehow distant. Hopeful. Like that of a pregnant woman awaiting the birth of her child. He looked down at the thing Vernon was carrying and realised that his uncle did treat that thing like a baby. His baby.

    "This..." Vernon said dreamily... "is going to make us rich. Not you of course. I just need to show them once how well this is working and we're going to be rich."

    I liked how you set up the background information, and talked about abuse going on like a pot of slow boiling water. Vernon is scary.

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