Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: LEGILIMISED 15 Sep 2008 1:56 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    Woah! Awesome chapter. Great recap of the memories. Snape is so scary now, menacing after Harry!

    Author's Response: Thank you :)
Title: HUMILIATED 14 Sep 2008 10:07 pm
Reviewer: Pandora (Signed) [Report This]
    Two updates in one day...nice!

    I am sorry to hear about the death in your family; please accept my condolences.

    I really like the originality of your story, and your portrayl of Harry and Snape is very in character.

    I am awaiting anxiously for the next update, and I hope that by writing it, you will be able hopefully to escape some painful memories for awhile. Good luck.

    Author's Response: Thank you. It is more than four months ago now, but hell, it hurts. I'll update more frequently now.
Title: TRAPPED 23 Jun 2008 10:09 pm
Reviewer: Scorpia (Signed) [Report This]
    Oh no! Let Harry out, I demand it! Lol, :) Poor Harry. Wonder where this is going....

    Author's Response: Not yet ;)
Title: PERSUADED 23 Jun 2008 10:07 pm
Reviewer: Scorpia (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow, this looks dofferent from all the other stories I have seen on here. Good begining.
Title: TRAPPED 05 May 2008 8:36 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    Wow!!!! This is scary!!! Great plot and good set up. I think that you need to add more decriptions. I think that more descriptions of people, and the setting would make it better.

    I loved this line: Dudley must be starving. Harry actually was, but no one spared a thought.

    You should ask on the Potions and Snitches yahoo group for a beta reader to help with your writing since I am guessing you have to write this in English which is not your native language? You are doing a great job, but the phrasing (sentences) is a little awkward and makes it hard to read. Maybe another reader to help you could figure out what could be fixed.

    I like this start! It is very spooky and interesting.
Title: PERSUADED 05 May 2008 8:28 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    I liked the opening. There was one thing that confused me: I didn't know what Vernon was carrying. I thought that it was a real baby, or a distorted yuk Volemort or something. You should make it clearer about the fact that Vernon is holding a drill.

    this part:

    Vernon's face expression was somehow distant. Hopeful. Like that of a pregnant woman awaiting the birth of her child. He looked down at the thing Vernon was carrying and realised that his uncle did treat that thing like a baby. His baby.

    "This..." Vernon said dreamily... "is going to make us rich. Not you of course. I just need to show them once how well this is working and we're going to be rich."

    I liked how you set up the background information, and talked about abuse going on like a pot of slow boiling water. Vernon is scary.

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