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Reviews For The Music of the Night
Author's Response: I've always been this great, Scorpia! Didn't you know? Lol, just kidding. Wow, you think I'm great? *huggles Scorpia* I'm grinning from ear to ear right now. You're the best! Oh, and wasn't Phantom wonderful? Next chapter'll be up by the weekend, hopefully! Thanks so much for the awesome review! Love ya! -Elise
Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much! I'm glad you understand where I was coming from. There have been so many times when the only thing I could do was sing my heart out, and I thought Harry and Sev could use some of that music therapy. And good luck with your schooling. I'm taking voice lessons right now, and it's hard. But I'm sure you'll do great. Thanks so much for the awesome review! Kisses and coffee! -Elise
Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks so much! -Elise
Thanks and good luck! Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it! And the next chapter should be up by the weekend! Thanks again! -Elise
I'm glad they seem to have found one another...it was very sweet, and I enjoyed their interaction. But please post soon again on S & S. I'm enjoying that one, too! Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much! You really know how to make a girl's day, Kristeh! Yes, I promise, I'll post on S&S soon. It's just that stinky old classroom scenes are giving me trouble. I'm glad you think that it was sweet. I was trying for an Aw... factor. :) Well, thanks again! You're the best. -Elise
Author's Response: Ooh, I'm so glad you liked it! I'm glad they seem IC. I was kinda worried about it. Thanks so much for the review! You're awesome. -Elise
The situation is very unique and intruiging. There are a couple of typos that made reading it difficult, however: Then, as though coming from a trance, hard for a sound he thought he'd heard. ? He took a step toward the sound as another not was played, note drew a shaky breath as the pain failed to do it's job its just as the notes dropped of from off "What are you doing her, Potter?" Snape hissed. here a feirce longing burning in his gut. fierce Also, try not to repeat things in the same sentence, or in a next sentence. For example, hair is mentioned too often here: He sank to the ground, his hands fisted in his messy hair, as though they were trying to pull the sound from his mind by way of his hair. Try to explain it by not using the word "hair". Ending the sentence at "trying to pull the sound from his mind" would work. Another example: Harry walked-no, he ran-to the door at the end of the corridor, where he was sure the music was coming from. He stopped in front of the door, closing his eyes and just listening to the dark sound that was now nearing a crescendo. He put his face against the cold door, listening, pressing close, trying to hear as much of the violently beautiful music as he could. The door and how Harry reaches it or is in contact with it is repeated too many times. Details are nice, but readers often imagine a certain percentage of a scene, and the way this is written out it seems like Harry is repeating his movements. Also, be very, very careful of over masculizing Snape, or feminizing Harry. "Snape's broad chest" is out of character because Snape is lean and rather skeletal. using "Snape's chest" would probably have been better. Using a word like "broad" makes the whole scene fit better in a romance novel. :) "He felt rather than heard the man sigh as strong arms wrapped around his small torso." Small torso sticks out too much here - the contrast between Harry and Snape, once again isn't fitting the type of story this is supposed to be. Be careful about these things, and it will probably improve your writing and help keep the characters seem more in character. Great start! You are very visual and you are doing a good job conveying that to your audience! I liked the start and hope to read more. What's going on with Harry? And how can Snape help him? Thanks for posting! Author's Response: Gah! Thanks SO SO much Jan! Eek, I hate it when I don't notice typos and I make other people suffer through reading them. Sorry about that. *hits herself on the head*. Grr. Lol. Oh, and yeah, that never dawned on me about it sounding too 'romancey' *is gagging* Ick ick ick! Thanks so much for the suggestions, I'll fix them as soon as possible. And I'm glad you like it! *she finishes lamely* lol. Thanks so much for the review, Jan. You're the GREATEST. No, seriously. I mean it. -Elise |
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