I feel like this is more of a chapter of a story than a one-shot. You've managed a good writing technique, and you have a good plot. However, I can't help but feel disappointed at the lack of substance to the story. While I understand that one-shots are short, I feel this story opened to many plot lines without closing them also. For example, Snape mentions that he is already beginning to care for Harry, and yet we are neither given or shown why or how. Also, the ending seems to be more of an ending to an exposition prologue than to a story. I'm interested in knowing the rest of the story. It's a decent story, but I wish there was more. (Sorry if I sound harsh.)
Author's Response: It's fine, constructive criticism doesn't bother me much. It's the flames that get to me, haha. Well, I will certainly take your suggestions into consideration and I will attempt to edit the story to improve it as much as I can... although I wouldn't expect to see an edited version up all that soon, as I have a lot more writing to do for my other fic which is chaptered. I would say that I've received pretty good reviews as this is my first one-shot, but I do admit that it is far from perfect. If you are interested, I would check back for an edited and improved version in roughly two weeks. Thanks a lot for the review! :)
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