Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: The Meddling Potions Master 30 Aug 2008 2:24 pm
Reviewer: little-sun (Signed) [Report This]
    I like your story and I am curious where it will lead us. Just one little thing: please, go through it and correct commas (e.g.: "No more darring stuntsCOMMA PotterCOMMA till your fully recoveredCOMMA" he snapped as he picked the boy up gently and layed him back under the emerald green comforter. Oh, and there is a typo in "daring" and it should be "you're", not "your".) It degrades your otherwise very nice fanfic. No offence.

    Author's Response: thank you for the grammer corrections , i am glad you like the story
Title: The Meddling Potions Master 29 Aug 2008 10:46 pm
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    I really, really like the plot, and how Snape caught Harry from off his broom where he fell. Lovely. :) I like the pace and direction very much! The anger and emotions in the story are very good. But there are a lot of errors in the writing that makes this story very difficult to read. Mostly they are things like spelling errors, punctuation, and tenses. Maybe a couple of run on sentences. For example:

    Severus Snape looked down at the boy " Yes Potter , you are lucky I got here at the right time or you would have killed yourself from that fall, what were you running from Potter?" Snape asked the boy before he passes out again.

    Quotation marks should always be touching the opening letter of dialogue, and commas should always touch the word before them (like periods) so it should be like this: Severus Snape looked down at the boy, "Yes Potter, you are lucky..." There always has to be some sort of punctuation before the opening quotation of dialogue (and a space afterwards, not before) unless it starts a new paragraph. New paragraphs should be started whenever a new person speaks. Periods should end every thought, commas should only be used to link partial thoughts, otherwise it creates a run on sentence. So it should be like this: "...you are lucky I got here at the right time or you would have killed yourself from that fall. What were you running from, Potter?"

    Watch your tenses: Snape asked the boy before he passes out again.

    this is a tricky sentence, I know, but you have a past tense, and a present tense, and those should not be mixed in the narrative.

    Good story idea, and keep working on it! :)
Title: The Meddling Potions Master 05 Aug 2008 1:51 am
Reviewer: SnapesYukuai (Anonymous) [Report This]
    CUTE!! CUTE!! CUTE!! Did I say I love it? No? Okay, I'll do it now: I love your story!!! I could read "Sev takes cre of an injured (or healthy) Harry" all day (and night). Please, do me the favour an update quickly.
Title: The Meddling Potions Master 03 Aug 2008 12:16 am
Reviewer: A-zla (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Mh, a good story! I hope Harry is going to give up trying to escape, I don't really understand why he tries so hard. Maybe Snape will make him tell...
    I hope you're going to put this on fanfaiction.net, I never manage to get the alerts working here.
Title: The Meddling Potions Master 01 Aug 2008 6:04 pm
Reviewer: graynavarre (Signed) [Report This]
    It was fun to watch Severus bounce back and forth from Harry to Draco. It was like watching a tennis game.

    Author's Response: I am glad you liked the first chapter, I will posting the second chapter soon after i fix it

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