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Reviews For Bitter Sweet Revenge
Author's Response: thank you for the grammer corrections , i am glad you like the story
Severus Snape looked down at the boy " Yes Potter , you are lucky I got here at the right time or you would have killed yourself from that fall, what were you running from Potter?" Snape asked the boy before he passes out again. Quotation marks should always be touching the opening letter of dialogue, and commas should always touch the word before them (like periods) so it should be like this: Severus Snape looked down at the boy, "Yes Potter, you are lucky..." There always has to be some sort of punctuation before the opening quotation of dialogue (and a space afterwards, not before) unless it starts a new paragraph. New paragraphs should be started whenever a new person speaks. Periods should end every thought, commas should only be used to link partial thoughts, otherwise it creates a run on sentence. So it should be like this: "...you are lucky I got here at the right time or you would have killed yourself from that fall. What were you running from, Potter?" Watch your tenses: Snape asked the boy before he passes out again. this is a tricky sentence, I know, but you have a past tense, and a present tense, and those should not be mixed in the narrative. Good story idea, and keep working on it! :)
I hope you're going to put this on fanfaiction.net, I never manage to get the alerts working here.
Author's Response: I am glad you liked the first chapter, I will posting the second chapter soon after i fix it |
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