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Reviews For Selene Lily Potter: Year One
So was the last part with Sev and Sel alone. I think it was good that he told her he wasn't mad at her and that he was afraid she would get hurt. The hug was wonderful. Little girls need a lot of hugs. And of course Severus would love Lily's daughter. Some minor corrections: "label" should be used instead of "lable" "pity" only has one t in it. "Sel would beat you to it" is how that should read. :) Author's Response: Thank you! I was worried I had put the hug scene in too soon. And again, a BIG thank you for the corrections!
Author's Response: Thank you! You can expect more surprises in this story, and possible the series. Nightshade :)
The hot chocolate was soo cute! Here are some spelling/punctuation errors I noticed. These should read: "Or else what, Weasel?" Ron stayed silent. Smirking, Zacharias said. "That's what I thought Zacharias Steel, third year Gryffindor, was a known bully and even students in higher years avoided him. There was no doubt in anyone's mind He's going to make your life hell now, you know?" Sel nodded and stood. "I'll see you guys later." Hermione Granger stood and handed Sel a piece of parchment. "This is the password, in case you forget." the school's healer." that her family had always yelled 'Why am I lying to him?' 'painful' instead of 'painfull' "since" instead of "sence" "two cups" not "too" "as well as coffee" Until "Ron was wrong. You're not mean." Don't be surprised if it is sooner . . . I think I caught them all. :) Author's Response: Thank you! Thank you very much for telling me the errors I missed. At the moment I'm working on the next chapter but as soon as I'm done I'll fix it. Though it may have to be tommorow, cause at the moment I'm at my grams. Again, thank you for the review and for telling me the errors. Nightshade:)
One minor point, I noticed a few spelling errors. You used "latter" instead of "later" and "grieve" instead of "grief". Just thought you might want to know. ;) I'm a former English teacher, so I'm correcting things as I read, force of habit. Update soon! Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't even notice the errors, thank you for bringing them to my attention. Spelling and grammer aren't my best traits, which is sad seeing as I love to write. If you don't mind, in future chapters if you notice any errors could you just tell me please. I can then fix it. Thank you again for reviewing and bringing those errors to my attention. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story! :)
Author's Response: Thank you! Don't worry, Sel will have her chance to pulverize Mimi.
Author's Response: Thank you!
I am looking forward to the Snape and Selene conversation. Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, you are right there is no Harry only Selene.
I plan to keep reading and reviewing, this is a great story idea! LOVE that the Malfoy's are good and that the mean girl is named Mimi, (the name makes me shiver), lol. Severus is coming up! I'm excited, Sel's powers are cool. I think she may have given them away a little too quickly. Then again, she's never had real friends before and kids show off some times to try and impress oithers. Even though I don't think Sel was trying to do that. I hope to read more soon! Author's Response: Thank you! You're not alone, I wish more people would write girl harry stories too. Hopefully people will. Oh well. You're welcome to ask any questions. I don't mind. I do find it slightly funny though that people find the name Mimi creepy. I picked that name for three reasons; one it's my nieghbors cat's name. The name kind of had a nice ring to it. And also it kind of, IMO, goes against her nature. Mimi is Evil, the name is kind of sweet. LOL! Again thank you for reviewing and I hope you like the rest of the story! Nightshade:)
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes I agree with you; it is hard to find a good Harry's a girl story. As for Mrs. Figgs nephew; No he is not a wizard. Like Mrs. Figg he is a squib. And it wasn't really like he cared about Lily's looks... (Spoiler Warning!) Mrs. Figg was friends with Lily, Bert got to know her through his aunt. There was not romance or anything, just friends. After Sel was placed with the Dursley's he moved in with his aunt and befriended Lily's daughter. He and Mrs. Figg know the Dursley's are mean, so when ever they can they help Selene cope. He told Sel she looked like her mother because Sel really wanted to know what she looked like, and she had never seen a picture of Lily or James. Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope that cleared things up.
Author's Response: Thank you! The challenge is mini Lily. Basically instead of looking like James the 'Harry Potter' will look like Lily, or be a girl. As for Snape being mean or nice; you'll have to wait and see. |
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