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Reviews For Lost Boy
I do have to criticize a few things that Harry has done in this chapter though. I am personally surprised that Harry would know that the ball was a toy. It is my assumption that Harry has not left his cage and it became obvious that Dudley didn't know about Harry, so how would Harry know what the ball was if he had never seen anyone play with one? This same question goes for him drinking out of the vile--has Harry drank out of a cup before, or has Petunia given him water in a bowl like an animal? Would he know what to do with it if it was in a vile? Do you see what I mean? I'm not trying to be mean or rude with this review, but I just think that more thought needs to go into some of these scenarios (and maybe it does in further chapters, I'll have to see). But I mean, if Harry's never been out of his cage, would he really know how to walk? Would his legs be strong enough to hold him up? I just really think these things need to be taken into consideration. On the plus side, I do like how patient Sev is being with Harry and how he's using every trick in his teaching book to try and get Harry to do what he needs him to do. I think there is some hope for him yet. -P.G.
I did find one other typo in here, up at the beginning when you say he is a reformed Death Eater it should be "that" not "tat". As far as chapter length goes, don't worry about it. You're the author and only you know the proper place to begin or end a chapter. Just do what feels right, that's what I do. Please update whenever you can as I'm really enjoying this!
Author's Response: Yeah, I like the bit about the word Bad because it shows that Harry has a grasp of language- words having meanings- at least in a primial sense (versus, like, dogs who mostly rely on voice tone. Harry doesnt)
"Guy" is an Americanism...'bloke' would be better. Otherwise, an interesting story.
I hope he starts comng out of his shell soon. |
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