Awwww, so cute! Great chapter. And haha, Draco got in trouble! It was refreshing to see Snape believe and take Harry's side and not Draco's. Everyone seems in character. I wonder what the surprise will be. Great story.
Awesome chapter. I worry for Draco. Severus' pleading for his godson was delightful. The comma and quotation and other mistakes seem to be resolved in this chapter. Much, much, much better. I really, really like this story and am so glad of the opportunity to read it. Thank you so much for posting it!
Very, very cute! Mrs. Norris was scary! I was so glad when Snape found Harry!
Great chapter and great development. I enjoyed the scenes between Snape and Harry. Harry is so cute! I enjoyed Draco's introduction. He seems like a good character. Well done on the story.
If you are going to go back and edit, make sure that you keep an eye out for quotation marks too. Several instances a sentence that needed quotation marks didn't have them, or a sentence that shouldn't have had quotation marks had them. Just a heads up.
Enjoying the story very much!
| Title: A Proposition & A Rescue
| 23 Nov 2009 4:29 am
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Very, very cute! Absolutely loved it. Wish it was beta'd though. There were a couple of mistakes that make it distracting to read.
Enjoyed the banter between Dumbledore and Poppy about his pain potion. Very cute scene.
I really like the flying parchment messages. very clever and they are used delightfully in the story. I love the idea of Dumbledore sending messages out to the teachers, especially Snape to get them to do things. :) Love it.
Snape trying to help Harry sleep by talking was a very sweet moment. I am also enjoying your Poppy and how she is the manipulating one more than Dumbledore in this story. It's a nice change compared to other stories.
Favorite line: "...Good, good. Not only do you do this for yourselves. You may not realize this but the two of you have influence over some special children. You should make more of an effort to be good examples. They're like sponges you know."
Loved this chapter. Harry is very cute. :) Snape is in character. Great development of your story.
Make sure that you go back and understand the difference between week and weak. Week means seven days, weak means no strength. I think you used the wrong one once in this chapter.
Loved this line,"Severus' long legs were the only thing he thanked his father for."
Good chapter. I think some commas were missing in the speaking. You may want to think about going back after the story is finished and re-editing. The whole story idea is really good and I can't wait to read more. :)
| Title: First Transformation
| 23 Nov 2009 3:24 am
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Cool beginning! Hermione is really clever but I bet something goes wrong. :) Nice job with Severus' thoughts, very in character and entertaining too.
Very cute story. Looking forward to more.
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