| Title: Lily’s Gift
| 10 Oct 2018 7:24 pm
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| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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This is a lovely story it would be lovely if it could be continued thank you
Omg there are so many loose ends! Please continue this wonderful story!
It's not too mushy. She sounds like she's 6. May I make some suggestions? Sure I can. Why don't you make Severus (naturally) agree to become a real father to his daughter. Slowly, they can come to terms (together) with everything that happened to her while she was with the Dursleys. Write more....you're very good.
In this situation, mushy is wonderfully appropriate. I love that Lily used her own hair for the doll. I don't think that you have Lexy acting too young. In fact, most other kidfics tend to have 6 year old's acting far too maturely. An abused, isolated child would tend to be less mature than the norm due to lack of normal social interactions. Your writing gets better each chapter. Keep up the great job!
Dancingkatz
nah, you didn't make her sound younger than she is. it's cute. i can't wait for chapter 5
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