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Reviews For Christmas Day
Would be great if I could find the original story.
In a work this miniature, though, minor things stand out larger than they would in a larger work. Two things you might look at: Second line down, in the second sentence, I think you want to add an "l" to "Shacklebot". In the very last line, you might consider putting a period after the "You" (to keep the emphasis you want here), or else put "idiot" in lower case, but italicize it. I'm assuming you want "idiot" capitalized for emphasis, but it's still visually jarring, since it's not a proper noun. A period, or even an exclamation mark would give you the verbal rhythm you want, plus it would fit. Nothing 'writ in stone', just something you might consider. Nice work! Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the spelling - I thought it looked wrong but I wasn't sure why. I've changed the idiot to italics too. Glad you liked the story. (:
Author's Response: Um. No. Have you read ObsidianEmbrace's story? It really is just an epilogue. Basically, Harry is the boy and, following healing (probably at a hospital due to the extent) he's been allowed down to the dungeons to see Snape. Dumbledore is the guy in the background. Thanks for reviewing.
Author's Response: Thanks. (:
Author's Response: Heh. It took me a little bit to work out what you meant. Snape was just falling to sleep - he was exhausted. (:
Author's Response: Thank you! (: |
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