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Reviews For Broken Wings
Author's Response: He'd better, all right1 Otherwise Molly will come for him!
I know that boxing can be a great stress reliever but I hate it with a passion, and so I have to admit I skipped over your descritions of what HArry and Sev got up to in the RoR. Sorry. I loved your descriptions of HArry's wild magic...very nicely done. I wonder if you are going to bring Harry and Ginny together as you have mentioned her a couple of times. I love HArry and Ginny together. Or will your thinking be that HArry ahs enough on his plate and he doesn't need a girl messing with his head. Lesley~ Author's Response: No, Harry wouldn't end the relationship because of an argument. He will give Ron a chance to come around. I don't like the sport much at all, but I'm using it here as a stress reliever and a self- defense lesson, and I don;t really get into a lot of the sparring and stuff. The wild magic was fun to write, especially the frozen potion. I might, but not in this story. Harry has so much else to deal with that I don;t think he's ready for a relationship at this stage. He's still dealing with his own issues and forming a new relationship with Severus and if you add a girlfriend into the mix, it will just be chaos. It's better to wait until he's dealt with Voldy first. Then he can focus solely on a girl.
I also liked how your Lavender used really big words. Am I right in guessing that you're trying to go against her 'idiot blonde' stereotype in fanfiction here? It was nice to see her give good advice to Ron, even if he didn't listen to it at first. My one criticism for this chapter is that you explained Harry's accidental magic both before he exploded the cauldron and afterwards. Before it, you told us: "Though he was fifteen, Harry was also a powerful wizard, and sometimes he still had bouts of accidental magic, which was common in the strongly gifted, it took years to bring the magic to heel, hence the reason for Hogwarts' remote location." After that, however, Severus explains the same thing to Harry, giving us the same information twice. Normally, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but having the info before the explosion kind of made it seem like Harry might have understood that it was his accidental magic doing it. I think it would be better if you left that part out and left the readers wondering what went wrong until Severus explains it. There's more confusion in the situation that way. Other than that, the cauldron scene was my favorite of the chapter and I liked that Harry didn't ruin the potion and that Sev could salvage it, despite the extra charge it got. Great chapter! -P.G. Author's Response: Yes, that's a necessary thing especially if you really feel like nailing someone for being an idiot. It's better to hit a bag than your friend. Sometimes. :) Yes, I think that stereotype is unfair and there should be more than just Hermione in Gryffindor who is smart. Funny how the other Gryffindor girls are usually presented as giggling bubbleheads in canon. I disagree with that and wanted to show that Lavender isn't just a dumb chick that Ron goes to because she's pretty and available. I wanted to stress the reason why Hogwarts was secluded and also the accidental magic because another reviewer missed that point when I posted the chapter on FF.net and only had the paragraph describing the fact that students still had accidental magic outbursts even after they were eleven. And Harry didn;t know what was happening, so I had Severus explain it for him, and for those who missed it the first time around. Glad you likedmy stasis spell, I got the idea for it from a commercial where a kid spills something on the rug and they do one of those timed still shots where it freezes in mid-air. That's when I thought, well why not do that to an exploding potion?
Author's Response: Yes, and that solution is one that I use often, though I do tai chi instead of box. I think if Sev were there, Harry would be too nervous to teach and wouldn't get the full effect of teaching. As for what the kids do to him. . . .it will be very interesting to say the least!
Author's Response: You know, I used to wish the same thing with my bratty nephews, LOL! Sometimes they just need a good whack, especially if they're behaving the way Ron was!
I'm not going to kill you. At least ... not yet. Tension, tension, TENSION! I /love/ tension. Ron was truly an arrogant prat within this chapter - reminded greatly of Malfoy, actually. I loved the interaction between him and Harry. I also enjoyed Ginny and Hermione as well. Why is it that you alone can make me like the bitchy redhead? Boxing? I never would have thought of Boxing as a stress reliever. I find horseback riding a great stress reliever: just you and the horse and the powerful movement of the animal's body beneath you. ::starts sinigng high-ho:: Six chapters to go. Have you even started working on my sequels yet? You know, just a little, tiny bit, at all? ::winks and bolts:: Love always, Julie. - By the way, my Internet is out so should you decide to send me anything, I probably won't receive it until Monday. If anything should change, I'll let you know. Update soon, dear. Author's Response: Ron was, wasn't he? But then, Slytherins don;t hold a monopoly on arrogant behavior. As for Ginny, I don't know . . . maybe it's because I don't paint her as hating Severus and being able to see the faws in her brother's behavior. If they had horseback riding at Hogwarts, I'd have signed Harry up for it. But he can fly with Boreal in Angel, and yes, I will get around to the sequel. I have the first chapter of it outlined and the same with Heir. Hope your internet's working now! I've just posted another chapter!
I find it a little odd that only the girls have an opinion about Ron's behavior, the boys have been growing up in their dorm with their yearmates, they must have some kind of social connection to each other, don't they? Also, it seems that Ron just bows to pressure, rather than actually realizing he is wrong or missing Harry. Of course, sometimes friends really do outgrow each other- maybe they just don't suit each other anymore. I'm curious to see if Harry and Herminone might become better friends because they are becoming more alike. Author's Response: That's for sure! And it also gives Harry some muscle tone and teaches him how to react quickly in a hostile situation. That's going to help him later on when he needs to fight for real. At that point, the girls were the ones who were closest to Ron and Harry when Ron started with him again, and once Harry cast the Muffliato spell, no one else could overhear them. Plus, I tended to think that the girls would be more sympathetic to Harry and look at Severus in an new light because he took such good care of Harry in hawk form. Hermione has always stood up for Snape and Ginny doesn't like it when Harry is attacked that way, especially by her brother, so she would raise the most objections, though I'm sure the twins probably said something to Ron too, only he hasn't admitted it yet to anyone. Neville wouldn;t ver really involve himself in a quarrel between friends, he's shy and nonconfrontational, and I seem to recall that Dean and Seamus were tw of the people who thought Harry was crazy to think Voldemort was alive. So I doubt if they would support Harry liking Snape and trying to convince Ron to accept that fact. I figured Lavender was a good choice to speak to Ron about apologizing and all because most guys tend to listen to their girlfriends. And their mothers. In a way, Ron sort of does cave in, but he also feels bad about arguing with Harry. He is willing to tolerate Snape for Harry's sake. And you;re right, they are kind of starting to outgrow each other. Yes, Hermione and Harry might become closer as well as some other people.
I'm looking forward to Harry (trying to) teach the first years ;-) Author's Response: Thanks! I tried to keep them as close to that as possible. Trying being the operative word there.
The boxing was an interesting idea. Never would have thought of that, mostly because I’m not into the sport. But, it seems to have a positive effect on Harry :) And it really would be great to see Voldemort socked right in his ugly face! *giggles* Weren’t expecting that, we’re ya ol’ scaly? Author's Response: Pride is often the cause of people breaking up a relationship--platonic or romantic. Ron;s lucky Harry didn't punch him out and that he is willing to forgive him. yes, the boxing not only serves as a stress reducer, but also a possible way to hurt Voldy and learn self-defense. |
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