Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Depths of Darkness
Title: Chapter 3 27 Mar 2009 10:15 am
Reviewer: fanficaholic (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Great start! I love to read Slytherin!Harry stories. Can't wait for more!
Title: Chapter 3 27 Mar 2009 5:26 am
Reviewer: Snapegirl (Signed) [Report This]
    I like how you made Harry a victim of Gryffindor bullying, instead of the other way around. And how Snape is right there to counter it. This would have reminded the Potions Master of his own schooldays, when he was tormented by the Marauders.
    I liked the conversation between Sev and Harry at night, and the part where Severus tells Harry he better hurry back to bed before another teacher finds him who's not as lenient as he is made me smile--since he's probably the strictest teacher in the school right then, except for when Umbridge comes.

    Good cliffhanger and I know Severus is going to be lying in wait to speak to Harry ASAP.

    Oh, a minor thing, I noticed that on the Takes Place category you have down Pre-Hogwarts, but it should be Pre-COS, since this is the first year and Harry is school-age. Pre-Hogwarts is for a younger Harry, I know because I write lots of stories set in that time period.

    Keep writing!
Title: Chapter 2 27 Mar 2009 5:21 am
Reviewer: Snapegirl (Signed) [Report This]
    I like how you did the Sorting and the way Ron kept trying to get Harry's attention and he kept getting ignored. And the way everyone reacted to Harry being in Slytherin was excellent. I also like the way you showed how Harry can't eat much at the feast because he's been starved for so long.

    The glamour charm was good too, but what did you mean when you said that if Harry touched someone he made them bleed? Is this some kind of wound transference or empathy? Also, the level of abuse the kid has endured is astounding, and you might want to give him some kind of healing factor to help him because a normal eleven year old or a magical one wouldn't be able to take that level of pain without passing out. And if he's bleeding that badly, he would also pass out, unless his body's somehow healing itself.

    Just a few suggestions.

    And Harry won't be bale to hide what's happened to him with Snape as his Head, since Sev knows what abuse looks like and probably can see through glamour charms.

    Good job!
Title: Chapter 1 27 Mar 2009 5:12 am
Reviewer: Snapegirl (Signed) [Report This]
    This is a good start, only I noticed something that puzzled me, actually several things. At the end of the paragraph where Harry is leaving Diagon Alley to go back home, you mention that he's going to stay with the Dursleys another month till school starts, but in the next paragraph you have him at the platform getting on the train.

    Did you mean to have a sentence or some kind of asterixs inbetween them to indicate time passing, or was Harry mistaken about Hagrid's intentions? It was a bit confusing.

    I liked how you didn't make Draco and absolute idiot, but I was wondering how Harry knew about prejudice between the Houses, since he kniows next to nothing about the wizarding world, how would he know whether or not a House is really prejudiced? And I wondered when Hagrid discussed Slytherins with him, since I can't recall it?

    This is not meant as a flame, just things you might want to clarify with a sentence or two, no offense.

    Otherwise I really like your story and your writing style.

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