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Reviews For Alea Iacta Est
Great chapter as always. I tried to review earlier today but the site messed up as I was sending it, thus loosing the long response. Anyways, here to try it again (and lol this time writing in WORD so that the site won’t mess it up…hehe.) First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on making featured status, you more than deserve it! With all the research, time and effort you put in, AIE is one of my top five stories! :-D Before I forget, have an EXCELLLENT time in London, I’m so jealous. Bring Severus and Harry back to the states, Harry can have beach therapy here, there’s a beach that’s ultra secluded after July (Chiniteague or Assateague) that he’d love. LOL. Anyways, to your review… I must say that you always amaze me with your skill of writing. You are a true master of it, especially in showing versus telling. One of the very first things that grabbed my attention was this statement: “"Sir?" his son scooted back, his eyes averted to the floor.”It's okay. I understand."” Many writers tend to glaze over the aftereffects of abuse, such as insecurity. You however, made it quite clear that Harry was indeed scarred by the Dursley louts. In this, I think that you actually did better than JK Rowling who tended to glide over the very real emotions an abused or neglected kid would have. She showed it a bit, with Harry’s aiming to please and distrust of adults but I think that you did a better job in any case. Oh, I imagine that Severus must feel pretty guilty over how HE treated his son for the past five years, especially learning that Harry indeed HAD wanted to learn, from that very first Potions class. “Harry bit his lip. "I really liked the very first lecture you gave, you know the brew fame, bottle glory, and put a stopper in death one." "You remember that? I thought your attention was elsewhere," the Potions Master slid his hand down to Harry's neck, coaxing the tight muscles to relax. How many times had he assumed the worst of his child just because of his self-imposed hatred of James Potter, the man who gave him the best gift anyone could ever receive? "I was taking notes," Harry bowed his head.” Man, Severus must feel like a heel, when he practically ENSURED that Harry would not like potions. He’s more than making up for it now however. My previous point is driven home with a statement not to far later in the chapter. “His mind was screaming for him to change his mind, to not let his child breach his ironclad mental barriers, but Harry needed to feel the positive emotions Severus held for his child. He wasn't sure if they qualified as far as the unconditional love a parent felt for his child, it had been too long since he'd allow himself to feel love of any kind, but he had hope that one day they'd both feel unconditional love towards each other.” Severus hasn’t let anyone in his mind for a long time, and to do it willingly and of his own design says just how highly he cares for Harry. I’m glad that Harry gets the point and begins to understand that his Dad does care and he only had to see that one memory. “Finding himself returned to the diamond wall, Harry pulled out of Severus' mind without viewing the second memory. He didn't need to see it.” That was one of my favorite statements in the whole chapter. I’m glad that Harry looks like he is coming around (yes, I know he still has a long ways to go). It’s sad but very true how abused children can’t bring themselves to think that anyone could love them or even say the word love. It’s so true though. This compassion was deeper, more like l...lo...the four letter word that until now Harry hadn't believed any adult besides his dead parents felt for him.” I have no doubt that one day Harry will be able to fully understand it. One section of the chapter really grabbed me. “His son nodded against his chest and wrapped his thin arms around his neck. Severus hadn't meant to imply he'd carry his nearly sixteen-year-old son to bed yet again and he wouldn't if his son weren't so ill, but if Harry felt too disoriented or drained it was better than having his child fall and injuring himself. Besides at thirty-six, Severus was young enough to handle his child's weight. Standing and lifting his child into his arms, the Potions Master walked across the room dodging the numerous bags along the way, down the hall, and into Harry's bedroom, his steps even and sure to create a smooth ride for his child. "I trust this won't become a habit?" he set Harry down on the bed. "I'm not two," Harry rolled his eyes, pulling off his shirt as Severus grabbed the salve from the nightstand. "Anyway, I bet if Madam Pomfrey knew of my nerve damage she wouldn't let me up for a few days at least."” This section proves that Harry is trusting Severus more. He may not be fully ready to call Severus “Dad” or even think it, but it’s still there. Abused children and teens a lot of times shy away from touch or being carried (this goes for even emotional abuse and neglect not just physical). While my Mom and Step-Dad are great, my biological father when I was younger was no prize. Don’t misunderstand me, he was MUCH, MUCH better than the Dursley Dung and he is beginning to be a good father now that his youngest child is near 26 and several states away. Even to this day, I don’t like it when people touch me unexpectedly (I don’t like it much in any case actually) or hug, much less carry me. I’m into theatre, so I can stand it but only by acting…then there’s that whole deal with me being partially deaf in one ear so not hearing people come up as easily…..ANYWAYS…tangent, sorry, I get into a lot of those hehe. :-D My point is, that Harry in one sense is allowing himself to heal, even just a little. I’m not obsessed or anything, I merely like Harry-torture and angst. Thus I have to say that this section was awesome. “A few minutes passed before Harry cracked one eye open and curled up onto his side, a lock of hair falling into his face. Severus brushed the piece back and ran his hand through the dark locks as his son let out a content sigh. His child's hair was longer than he normally wore it, another thing Harry neglected after Black's death. He could use a haircut, but it would be pointless. Too soon the soft, unmanageable locks would start to fall out, and he wouldn't be able to soothe Harry by running his hand through his hair. Once his son's hair started to fall out, he'd suggest shaving it off, but until then Severus wouldn't bring it up. He'd miss the mop that was his child's hair, despite it being a clone of James Potter's. That didn't matter any more.” In several chapters there have been mentions of Severus carding his hand through Harry’s hair. All of those chapters haven’t verbally made the connection between the action and the ramifications of Harry’s chemo side-effects, but this one did. Thus, that hints that it will probably happen soon. I might not be correct or reading too much into it, but you tend to do those type of hints. I suppose I’ll shall see. This statement could have sounded snide, but the way that you wrote it more than hints that it was meant lovingly and not degrading, “"How do you they expect you to defeat the Dark Lord when you can't even take care of yourself?"” NO child should have to be in a war. I’m glad that Harry finally has a champion who cares about him and not about some stupid prophecy. Haha, I’m glad that Ron had to write an apology and do chores. I think that he’s probably in a lot more trouble than Molly let on, from and from the twins. I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall at that house right now. I bet Severus’ heart almost stopped in relieve after he learned that he was a match for Harry. That was a perfect line to end the chapter with, “Blood Match: 6 out of 6, 10 out of 10 Perfect Match Magical Match: 60% Match, Patient would need to take magical suppressors prior to transplant They matched.” I don’t know how you do it, but you never cease to amaze me with how simple sentences can be the best if placed correctly. I’m going to guess that Harry’s chemo either won’t work or he gets out of remission. There has been A LOT of talk about the bone marrow transplant for it not to be. I could be wrong, but everything points to having to have the procedure. In a big way, if anything, THAT would show Harry how much he means to Severus. Willing and eager to go into surgery to save his life. If that’s not a characteristic of love, than I don’t know what is! I know I emailed this to you, but I want to offer you this; I would love to read and record each chapter for you as well as make you a website. I’m pretty good at those, and that’s something I could do for you. I’ll probably record them in any case, so that I can listen to them in the car or what not (though it is weird to hear one’s own voice). I love to draw but as my two drawings proved to you, I’m not that good at it. OH, I want to recommend a song to you, “You Give Me Hope,” by Ryan Kirkland. It’s on youtube. I was listening to it as I was reading the chapter, and couldn’t believe how well it fit with AIE. It’s awesome. Anyways, I hope that you have a great trip and steal Severus and Harry for your loyal fans and yourself…Muhahaha! -Autumn Author's Response: Thanks so much! I've been meaning to get to your e-mail but haven't had time to respond. School started last week so it's been a little crazy. I'm so glad to hear AIE is one of your top five stories. ;) Unfortunately, Harry and Sev wouldn't fit in my luggage. They have this stupid luggage rule limit of 50 lbs. ;) I also had issues getting onto Platform 9 3/4. Sev and Harry must've known I tried getting on the Hogwarts Express twice and charmed the wall so I couldn't get through! I did better than Rowling? *face plants* That's some high praise there. Although Harry's insecurities and emotions are his own, I do have to admit that some of the more emotional and "fragile Harry" scenes are somewhat of a test run for a few things I have planned in my original novel. The circumstances and aspects are totally different, but much of this story is "practice" for the "real thing." I think I've mentioned it before but I'm so happy you're picking up the showing not telling bits. It shows you're developing the skills needed to become a better writer so yay for you. Sev's journey is a major part of the story. He of course feels horrible over the way he's treated Harry and he'll have to deal with that and any repercussions that might bring. Harry may be coming around, but it isn't the last time we've heard Harry bring up the past. After all, Harry can't be over it that easily. You're totally right that Harry allowing Severus to touch and carry him is a huge deal. I think also as an abused child he still has that subconscious need and desire for physical contact that he was denied as a baby. He's certainly healing some and showing how resiliant a child is. Harry's trust in Severus is growing and of course there'll be bumps in the road coming, but Harry's a long way up the hill. Harry's hair falling out is going to be soon. You're right about that. I have two options that I'm contemplating over about that so we'll see which one I end up picking. Ron is totally in quite a bit of trouble. He's not just doing chores he's cleaning at Grimmauld Place which is way worse than cleaning any normal home since it was left for so long. The thing with simple sentences working so well is that sometimes you have the urge to add more to it, but you need to figure out that adding a phrase onto it take away the punch the sentence has. Also in this instance "they matched" doesn't need any further explanation. As a reader you can imagine just how relieved Sev is to read those two words. If I had explained it it probably would've lost some of the impact and the way it is gives you that individual interpretation. No spoon-fed reaction for you. ;) I'll get with you on your offer through e-mail. It might be after the weekend, but I'm going to try to get better about responding promptly to my e-mails. Thanks again!
I hope you enjoy your time in London! Author's Response: Thanks! Sev's answer was something that took me a bit to figure out and I'm glad it's gotten the response it has. My trip was amazing and gave me a ton of ideas for AIE that although can't be used right away will pop up in later chapters.
Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you loved Sev's answer. We'll see what Ron has to say soon, but not in the next chapter. Harry and Sev have a few things to talk about that need to be said. Thanks!
Great chappie as usual. I 'm glad that you got the award. I voted for you, and you really deserve it. I"m happy that Ron apologised. I hope that he's learnt his lesson. I hope that Harry has no doubts now, about how much Severus cares about him. I can't wait for the next chapter. Author's Response: Ha, good luck cuddling Sev, Pandora! I doubt he'll let that happen. Harry is going to continue having doubts, but it's only natural because of the way he was raised. He can't help it really. Thanks for the vote and the review! The next chapter should be up very soon.
Have fun in London! V. Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked Sev showing Harry his answer. My trip to London was amazing, and I want to go back. I did so much yet it seemed like I didn't have time to do everything I wanted to do. I did visit Platform 9 3/4 twice though. ;)
Author's Response: Yep, a match. Something had to work out in their favor sometime. The month in London went super quickly for me and of course I didn't get any writing done since it seemed like I never stopped going. Then when I came home I had some stupid school stuff to deal with that took like 2 weeks to finally get settled. Blah. Can I run back to London now? It was nice not having to deal with stuff for a month. Thanks!
That Severus is a match is wonderful news. Now, they have a new weapon against Harry's cancer... Author's Response: Seeing is definitely believing for Harry. He's been disappointed so much by adults that even if he wants to I don't think he really believes what they say at this point. We'll see signs that Harry understands in the next chapter, but also that Harry isn't quite comfortable with it all yet. Thanks!
I just loved the scenes with them. Severus is so gentle and tender and protective, and it's good for him, too, to have someone who needs him and will love him in return. (I'm sure Harry will come to love Severus deeply, if he doesn't already). And I think Harry can teach Severus about opening up to others and being more open. I'm glad that Ron has realized his mistake and hope that he and Harry can make it up. And thank goodness that Severus is a perfect match! Bout time something went right for them! Is Harry's hair going to fall out, btw? Chemo does often have that effect, but not always. I do know of a couple people that never did lose their hair during treatments. Also, they do make very realistic wigs these days, or Severus could cast a glamour, too, I suppose, if it was very upsetting for Harry. I hope you'll have a great time in London and am looking forward to another chapter! Author's Response: Thanks! I had a great time in London. I want to go back! You're right that it's just as good for Severus to have Harry as it is for Harry to have Sev. I think you'll like the next chapter with the interaction between the two. I have it written I just need to edit it and change a few little things, so it should be up very soon. They couldn't always have the worst luck. Something was bound to work out in their favor. ;) Harry's hair is going to fall out pretty soon. I'm not quite sure how Harry will react. I think it depends when I decide to place that in the plotline since I have a few ideas where I want it to be. Decisions, decisions. lol. |
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