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Reviews For Sacrifices
Author's Response: Well, it is a fantastic scene in the film, and since (other than the disciplinary hearing in OotP) it's the only criminal court scene available from which to reference, there we have it. Thank you! ~ RK
Author's Response: Flitwick is important in this story as well. There are many, many things that are solved and puzzled out by the little Charms professor. I always wanted to know more about Flitwick too, and so I therefore decided to make it up! Thanks again for another reveiw! ~ RK
Author's Response: That's the real tough puzzler, isn't it? The answer to that one is coming. Thank you for the reading/reviewing!
Severus has some figuring out to do, but I hope he manages it. At least Harry is safely away from the Dursleys, but they don't seem so bad in your story. Wow, I really can't wait to read more from you. You write very well, and this story is fascinating! Author's Response: Yeah, Severus has some things to seriously work out, but with a little help he'll manage it, though it will be difficult. The reason why the Dursleys are not that bad is because they were not saddled with Harry, and because they are younger than in canon, and nothing has really disrupted their picturesque life except for Dumbledore dropping by (and Lily dying, of course). Thanks for reading, and the compliments in your reviews! Hope to keep you interested as it continues.
Very good on Snape's adventures in Azkaban, and the trial, though I think people interrogated under large amounts of Veritaserum would be loopier. Techique: "clenched dark eyes" Fists are clenched. Eyes? No. If you mean closed by clenched, then how can we tell the eyes are dark? "The eyes were squinted" Eyes again. Squint is a verb: viz: "The eyes squinted" You describe Snape in a rather feminine way at times: "slender" and "walking delicately" I suspect "thin" and "walking gingerly" would work better for the character. Query: would a person who just was released from Azkaban, had undergone a traumatic trial, and been dosed with Veritaserum want to appear in public that quickly? I know you wanted to get the reaction of Slytherin house, but character is important, too. And Snape seems to have recovered a little quickly. Author's Response: Wow! I am thrilled to see your reviews! You raise good points, and I shall address them in order. 1. The Veritaserum - I had Moody mention that Severus is rather immune to the effects of this particular potion, and that is why he is dosed with an entire vial (and also, I always find it rather hilarious in the GoF movie, where earlier Snape explains to Harry that three drops would make Voldemort spill his guts, yet he goes a little overboard when he pours the whole vial down Barty Crouch Jr.'s throat. If Crouch Jr. needed a whole vial, I figured that someone like Severus would certainly need at least that much as well). 2. Thank you for pointing out the grammar stuff. I sometimes miss it, and usually feel very stupid when it is pointed out. (Really good point about the dark eyes there.) *changes* Thanks about the "squinted/squiting" thing too! *edits* 3. I'll take your advice on the "delicately"...I've changed it to "unsteadily," as your suggested "gingerly" implies (at least to me) a sense of being careful, rather than shakey, or not being firm in his step. I can see how "delicate" could be feminine-sounding...And this could be a me thing, but I (personally) use the term "slender" very often for a man. Could be just a weird quirk of mine. Since slender and thin are synonymous, I tend to use thin when it applies in an unhealthy state, and slender in a healthier state of being. But thank you for the help and suggestions! I hope I am not sounding overly defensive in this response, but since you are very thorough (YAY!) I wanted to be equally thorough in my responses. (I also leave pretty hefty reviews, so I appreciate this!) 3. When Severus returns to Hogwarts, several hours have passed between the end of the trial and this arrival. And I tried to convey that Severus was still physically tired from the events in Azkaban and the trial, etc. by his posture, and his relative quietness as he was escorted by Dumbledore. And let's put it this way as well, while Severus would definitely not want to be marched down the Great Hall, Dumbledore is pretty much supporting him, and wherever he would go, Severus would have to follow even if he did not want to. And even considering the rather stressful day he's had, he's probably lost the will to even argue since he's been freed. (Even in canon, good ol' Dumbledore makes him do things he does not want to, so this is yet something else to add to the list.) Severus is also rather young here and is not yet the bitter, stone-willed character we all know and love yet. He is still young, and insecure. Again, not trying to be overly defensive, just wanted to answer/address your queries and everything. I appreciate your awesome reviews, esp. the grammar! Makes me very happy (even when I feel stupid for not catching some of it myself)! Thank you for reading and reviewing! *smile*
-P.G. P.S. I really liked how you showed the Slytherins' emotions about Snapes' departure and arrival. I enjoyed reading about how loyal to him they were (generally speaking; I'm sure not all of them feel the same way). Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Yes, you'll be seeinng how Harry has been doing with Remus in the next chapter. And as to the reactions of the Slytherins. True, it is a generalized statement about them, and it is used to mainly show the different reactions on average of the four Houses. Not all of the Slytherins like Severus, just as would probably be the case with some students in all of th other Houses. So, yes, it was a generalized reaction. Hopefully, I'll be able to whip out the next chapter relatively soon. As of now, it is very long, so it may take a little longer than usual...*nervous expression* Thanks for reading/reviewing!
Author's Response: Thank you! You'll find out what Harry has been up to next chapter - and Remus too...Thanks for reviewing and reading! Makes me quite cheery!
And all the little Slytherins were happy! Yay! That made me smile. I always love it when that house feels so strongly about their Head of House. Ten points to you! All the professors caring about Severus made me happy too. Especially Flitwick. For some reason I always have a soft spot for him. Never been able to figure that one out, but he made me happy! Another ten points to you!! But I'm amazed that I found two typos, that are really the same thing, so it's easily fixed. You spelled Alastor wrong when Moody and Dumbledore first speak together and Dumbledore answers '"I am, Alistor."' In the paragraph which starts "Which was also the downfall for Voldemort himself!" Dumbledore shouted' you again spelled Moody's name wrong. But don't worry, I always tend to misspell when I'm in a creative rage too! ^^ But this was very good (of course) and I'm glad you updated again! Author's Response: Thank you for the comments about Moody...I was not sure how he was going to be received, but I pictured him a little more rough/frayed around the edges and harsher than the movie portrayed when I read the books. So, I was hoping my vision of Moody would not be too much of a shock or difference to people. Thanks! Yeah, I don't know why for me either, but I love Flitwick! He's actually very important to this story at several points. And all of the professors would kind of care for Severus in my opinion because he is most likely the youngest staff member of the school, and because of that the older staff members, especially the other House Heads would try to lighten his burdens a little since he is not just a Potions Professor, but also the Head of Slytherin. Kind of like when people are all nice to the new neighbor for a while, you know? (Except Flitwick, he is helpful for quite some time.) And wow, thanks for finding the typos. I wrote this chapter very fast, so I guess I was too much on a roll to simply scroll up and see if I spelled something important like someon's name wrong! *face palm* Thanks for catching it, for reading, and for reviewing! *big smile*
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, made my rather terrible morning/afternoon a bit brighter! *smile* And we'll see what Harry's been up to in the next chapter. |
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