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Reviews For Sacrifices
Tbe part with Figg I liked. Especially the line where you compared Snape to the crow. That was good! I liked that a lot! I thought Flitwick being all happy and sociable was funny for some reason. This was very good, and I enjoyed it bunches!! I'll try and read again tomorrow! Author's Response: Thank you, Ivy-Green! Hopefully, Severus will get a bit of a break soon, but I do agree that trials for a character does make good literature. Remus serves as the voice of reason for a good chunk of this story, actually, and he'll continue to be so for a long while. Glad you liked Snape the Crow. And I always thought that Flitwick would be a rather excitable half-goblin with a happy temperament. Glad you are still reading. It's lovely to hear from you again. Thank you!
I also liked her reaction to being asked to play the part of mom. Heaven knows I won't agree to such a thing right away either!! Goodness, what a question to be ask!! And WOW!! The Unbreakable Vow!? Did not see that one coming, but how appropriate! I think I liked that part the best. It fit in there great. And of course POOR SEV! I nearly started to cry when he was so sad, that is until my roommate walked back in and I had to pull myself back together. lol This was very well done, and hopefully I'll have time to read more tonight. For now, I'm off the class! Author's Response: So good to hear from you again! I'm glad you like Ophelia so far. I was nervous about her, and I figured I pretty much had one chapter to really introduce and semi-develop her. And being a Muggleborn Slytherin could not have been a fun thing. What a question to be asked, indeed. Yeah! *happy dance* I was hoping people would be surprised with the Unbreakable Vow, but I wanted her to have a more powerful way to accept the question than by simply saying, "Yes." With an Unbreakable Vow there is much more at stake there. Glad you approve of it. Sorry you almost cried, but I'll take it as a compliment. So nice to hear from you again. Glad to see you are still reading! Yay! Good luck with classes!
Second, cheers for this exciting, dramatic chapter. Well done! Author's Response: You're welcome for the long response. I thought your review needed a long one, being so helpful and thought out. Thanks for this new review! Very excited about it. I'm looking forward to more of your comments in the future. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I wonder if Sev is going to get a scolding from Ophelia and then Tevin glaring more at her :D he is too cute Author's Response: Hello, again! Thank you for another review! Tevin still doesn't exactly trust Ophelia yet, so she has some brownie points to earn with him yet. Some interesting introductions are coming up in the next few chapters. Hope to hear from you again! Thanks for reading!
Author's Response: Thanks! I always thought Draco would be a cute child. *grin* Thanks for the review and the reading!
Very interesting, good changes of points of view and explanations why somebody does something and of how torn up and devasted Severus, Sirius and Remus are by the events. For example, great idea with that scar removing charm invented by Lilly to help Severus back when they where at school, that is - like many other points in this story - a creative use of the information in OOP, HBP and DH. I also liked that glimpse of Kreacher in the old Black house. And good to show how the allmighty Albus Dumbledore miscalculated and behaved irresponsible... And everybody knows it! (But how, you didn´t really explain how the Daily Prophet got wind of what happened at the Potters and afterward so quickly? If they did interviews with Dumbledore, I dont think he would tell them so much?) Dumbledore isn´t omnipotent and infailable anymore in the eyes of the public and I do concur wholeheartedly. Really, what responsible adult would leave a little child, an orphan, an attempted murder victim, all alone outside a strangers house in the middle of a cold night in November? And on top of that at the doorstep of people who are known to despise and hate the parents of the freshly orphaned child? This is inviting a tragedy to happen. Poor Harry, at least Severus found him in time and saved him. Now I am very curious how Severus will explain to Dumbledore and the other Hogwarts teachers that he has a son so suddenly? Even without that special scar I assume that little Harry still looks very much like Harry Potter, green eyes like Lilly Evans, black hair like James Potter... well ok Severus has black hair too? I´ll hurry to read on to find out! *wink* I was only a bit confused as to why and how Severus was visiting Lilly just at the same time as Lord Voldemort came to attack the Potters and duelled with James? As far as I know, James and Sirius really hated Severus, how would James let this Death Eater into his house to visit Lilly, especially if the Potters are under the Fidelius charm hiding from the Dark Lord? Or do you imply that Lord Voldemort took Severus along for the planned attack on the Potters as a back up or a witness or perhaps to torment him, because Severus begged his Lord to spare Lilly? Why did you write that Lilly faced a "monster"? Isnt that a bit too black-and-white cliché? Surely, the Dark Lord is a tall man, a very powerful wizard, the leader of the dark wizards of Britian, allready altered by dark rituals from his most handsome dark looks as a teenager or when he worked for Borgin and Burks as a young man, but to call him a "monster? Lord Voldemort at this point in time doesn´t look quite so gaunt, snaky, scaly as after his resurrection at the end of GOF, doenst he? Something else: I suppose Severus has at least some knowledge about basic child care (like what and how to feed a baby or toddler, changing napies, calming little kids, what potions they might require to heal them from common childhood illness and so on) from his basic healer training while studying for his Potions Mastery? Otherwise there is no explanation how he can care for little Harry, keep him alive and well for a few days. Because most young men (and woman) would be utterly clue- and hopeless at this, if they haven´t experianced growing up with younger siblings in their family or learning to babysit someone elses children as teenagers? I remember well how unsure, terrified and overwhelmed I was with my own pregnancy, birth and my baby, as I am an only child. Growing up and later at university or working at different jobs I had almost no contact with mothers, babys or toddlers before giving birth myself. That is contact apart from sometimes seeing other mothers with small kids like on the streets, in a bus, in a shopping mall, at a beach and so on but I never paid any attention to them other then either noticing that they slept peacefully like little angels or wincing from the screaming temper tantrums those kids threw like miniature devils. My husband was an only child too, we both have/had rather technilogical professions, so he didn´t have a clue either about anything concerning babys... Well I assure you that my child survieved and is just short of her teens.*wink* So as a tribute to all those parents and especially single parents out there struggling daily with raising their kids, (and most of them doing a spendid job despite all the odds) I appriciate it if Severus has some problems coping with toddler Harry and that the readers don´t get the completly wrong image that it is all so very easy and not much work and sleepless nights to raise a kid. I smiled at the scene with little Harry trowing food everywhere or that he is so attached to a toy animal, how typical! Author's Response: This is the biggest review I have ever received...and I am very excited about that. First of all, thank you for the constructive criticism all throughout the review. It's made me do a lot of thinking. Since this was such a huge review, I've decided to respond with equal vigor! Thank you for the compliment on the point of view shifts. I'm so glad you liked Kreacher. He interests me quite a bit actually, and I thought what better way to show Kreacher before he was left alone for all those years than right before Sirius goes after Peter? Personally, I am not that big of a Dumbledore fan. There are even canon characters that think he is invincible and knows the best course of action for everything, which I wholeheartedly disagree with, and I wanted to show that. And it always bothered me that he just like dumped Harry on the doorstep like that! He's a wizard! Couldn't he have alohamora'd the door and at least gotten him out of the cold, and into shelter? He makes mistakes, he makes the wrong judgements, but no one ever calls him on it. Why? So, I tried giving some of the characters like Remus a little more of a backbone and stand up for himself. (And I love Remus, so he was always going to be an important character in this...) As to the Daily Prophet "getting wind" of everything...Well, they always seem to do so in canon anyways, so why not? And if Rita Skeeter is an unregistered animagus who can literally blend into the environment while getting a story, there has to be more of them that do something like that. Severus explaining how he suddenly has a son is explained around chapter 11 or 12, so keep on reading. Lots of stuff happens in there. As to Severus being present at James/Lily's home on the night of the attack. In a way future chapter I have the entire flashback planned. It will probably be it's own chapter, actually. Everything to do with that is explained. All of your questions about why/how Severus was there, did Voldemort take him along, etc. should all be answered in that chapter. Answers are coming! Lily facing a monstrer: Yes, I used monster because to someone who kills Muggleborns for no reason other than them being a Muggleborn, would be somewhat of a monstrous person to her. He is a frightening person, he's corrupted/brainwashed people to his thinking and his creed, he's murdered people, he's tortured people, and now he's coming to kill her and her husband and son. If I were in her position it would make them a monster to me, too. (Not meaning to sound defensive or anything, just explaining.) As to Severus's childcare knowledge. Yes, some of it would have been learned from gaining a Potions Mastery, since it would probably train him in healing potions including the administering of them. And I'm not sure if I made it clear, but how he learns to care for a child is by the memories that Lily gives him. Almost like a weird tutorial, more or less for him. And I am ignoring most of the childcare issues, not to give the impression that it is easy (I babysat my baby cousins when I was only 13 and it was insane!) because it isn't, I agree, but if I included all of the difficulties in raising a child, this story would be beyond gigantic! And there is a time jump approaching soon around Chapter 18 or somewhere around there, where Harry will be a little more grown up. There are so many plot points that I need to get it moving, that I can't focus on a whole lot of issues/difficulties in childcare. But I do understand how much of a pain it is, or have a really vague idea anyway, with babysitting little demon cousins! I really appreciated this review! It was well thought out, and deliberate. The points you raised really got me thinking, and you brought up some good points. Thanks for letting me know what I need to work on in the story! Thanks for this wonderfully detailed review, and I hope you keep reading! Thank you!
Lovely chapter as usual Raven. I can't wait to see more of "Daddy Snape"! Oh...will we get to see Harry grow up, and go to Hogwarts. That would be really interesting. Can't wait for the next chappie. Oh, and don't worry about writing Hagrid. You did very well, and yes....he is difficult to write. I had to do it recently, and I don't think I did half as good a job, as you did. Author's Response: Hello, Pandora! Thanks for reviewing once again... (I love your story, by the way!) Harry will grow up quite a bit throughout this story, but not to the point that he attends Hogwarts. He will be all over the school but not as a student. (There's a plan...a masterplan...*evil laugh*) Next chapter is on the way as soon as I have more than a half hour of free time...Thanks for reading/reviewing. (And I'm so glad that Hagrid came out okay...he's a tough cookie to handle, especially with his speaking!)
Great job! I can't wait to read more! -P.G. Author's Response: Ooh! Yay! Hello, again! Thanks for another review! #squeals* Yes, sooner or later, he will grow used to everyone in Hogwarts. I already have a plan for what he'd call Ophelia that will hopefully not be too odd. Tevin is obviously attached to Severus, but once he's left with Ophelia for a while it'll be time for them to work on their relationship. More is coming hopefully soon. Thanks for sticking with it! You're awesome!
I loved the little scenes with baby Draco. could just imagine him with his baby-fine, white blond hair, and large gray eyes, pale porcelain complexion. Can't stand Draco's character in Canon, but he must have been a beautiful baby nevertheless. Lovely chapter, and I'm so gad that Narcissa was able to tell Lucius in time. I can't wait for the next chapter. Good luck in school though! Author's Response: I've been dying to write this chapter since I started the story. I have the whole thing mapped out, I just need to get there. I find the Malfoy family completely fascinating, by the way, and have enjoyed writing them way too much! (They're around a lot more!) I loved that sentence in the last book about Lucius and Narcissa running through the battle screaming for their son and not fighting. (If that sentence is not in the film, I will spazz out! That sentence NEEDS to be there!) Don't worry though, the Malfoys will still have their pureblood supremacy attitudes in this. I'm just tweaking them a tiny bit. But yes, that family is completely fascinating to me. All three of them (besides Severus and Remus) are my favorite characters. Thank you so much for the reviews and with sticking with this story! I've never gotten this far in my stories, so I am very excited. Hope you keep reading! ~ Raven Knight
-P.G. Author's Response: I've been anxious to write the Malfoy version of events since Chapter 6 when I snuck Lucius in there! I was also anxious to write a little Draco. I've been having a good old time with little "Harry," so I was excited to write Draco. I love the Malfoy family; they completely fascinate me. Thank you for continuing to read and review! Glad you liked this chapter. The next one is a little more lighthearted. Looking forward to hearing from you again! ~ Raven Knight |
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