| Title: Chapter 2
| 01 Jan 2014 9:31 pm
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| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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Thank you a very good start to the story
| Title: Chapter 2
| 21 Mar 2010 8:29 pm
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| Reviewer: Grace (Anonymous)
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This story would benefit heartily from a beta reader. Also, these are real people speaking, let them use contractions. A lack of any contractions makes the language awkward and stilted.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your comments. I do have a beta, but as you may have realized English is not my first language, I will gladly make changes if you point the mistakes. LL
I like reading stories from Severus’ POV. Little Sun
Author's Response: Severus is very fun to write. Thank you very much for liking my story. LL
I like the plot and you have a good idea here, but the grammar and spelling could use some work, perhaps have someone go through it for mistakes, most of them just seem like type o's.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. We have gone over the charpters several times and thought that we had cought all the mistakes. I would appreciate it very much if you were to point them to me, so I would be able to adress them. Thank you for reading. LL
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