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Reviews For Moon Fire
Little Whinging Surrey The first line is the street, the second the town, the third the county. Surrey is a county in the south-east of England; a county is somewhat analogous to an American state. Thus "two towns away from Surrey" completely breaks even a vaguely knowledgeable reader from the story and into confusion. To put it bluntly "two towns away from Surrey" makes about as much sense as saying 'two towns away from Florida'. And as Little Whinging is utterly fictional (but within an hour or so's drive of London) it would be better to either pick a real life location in Surrey, or just say 'were going to be pulling into Little Whinging in about ten minutes'. Aside from that, and some minor confusion over characterisation which will probably be made clearer later, an enjoyable, and interesting AU. I am a little concerned with the phrasing over Snape's plan to initiate Harry. It doesn't sound like he has much of a choice in the matter . . .
Author's Response: Oh yeah. Thanks so much!
o.o oh gosh kissing already lol! I wonder when Sev will explain more will Harry find out about Moon Fire? Maybe not cause it look him awhile to realize Sev was talking about himself XD Maybe living with Sev with jump start Harry's brain since it was suffocating with the Dursleys. Author's Response: Yeah, they're gettin really serious. That chapter will be coming up eventually. hahaha! Yes, that will definitely happen.
Go Snape! Author's Response: Thanks so much! Oh yes, they will. just read the next part to see how.
And the Dursleys are going to be in so much trouble and they don't even know it. Author's Response: Thanks! So glad you like this!
Author's Response: Aww. Thanks so much!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Author's Response: Thanks, more has been posted! |
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