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Reviews For Apprentice
Very well done, it is astoishing what you came up with only the information up untill GOF and a bit of OOP. I dont like all parts or assumptions of this story, but overal it is really ok. I would have loved to read on how Snape discovers about Harry´s visions and that Harry is the white light rescuer and about the following years, how they work together and find a way to vanquish the Dark Lord. Of course everything about Snapes family and work in the muggle world is made up, (but very well made up, I like the elaborate descriptions, it showed that you put a lot of consideration in providing a background for him) but the main thing is his character, a brave and honerable man and that he is. A few chapter back you wrote your Petunia would be very OOC: why? I don´t think so, she really hated and despised her sister Lilly out of jealousy (because as a child Petunia wanted to go to Hogwarts too and could not, only beeing a muggle. In the following years Lilly was adored and favored by her parents over the older sister because Lilly was a witch. Lilly was something special and happyly married to another "freak" in the magical world, all the more reason to hate her from Petunias point of view. Petunia transfered that hate to the little boy found on her doorstep, the freak, Harry. In the HP books it is absolutly clear that Harry is abused, even if JKR only shows us glimpses and hints or clues, after all they were written as childrens books and there is no graphic description where Harry is beat up. But it does not need a far stretch of imagination, if one considers all the forms of abuse that are described or hinted at. Neglect is a form of abuse, the same as verbal abuse. A look at the beginning chapters of PS, COS, POA or GOF shows us undenaiable neglect and verbal (psychological) and physical abuse. To condone abuse by another is also abuse. To keep the child in a cupboard like they do is simply wrong because the Dursleys have a large enough house and enough money to provide a bedroom for Dudly and Harry. Harry could have used the so called second bedroom from the moment he was left on their doorstep. That one child is spoiled rotten under mountians of presents like Dudly and the other does not get any birthday or christmas presents is more then neglect. Forcing one child to work when at the same time the second child in the household has no chores at all is unfair. Not providing adequate chlothes or enough food, not allowing him to ask questions about his parents, telling him that he is a worthless freak, not encouraging and helping him to do well in school, not taking one child of the family along on holidays or outings, encouraging their own child to bully and beat up the other child (Dudly allways bullied Harry, "Harry Hunting" is a kind of sport for him and his friends and in PS Dudly hits Harry with his Smeltings stick in front of them and neither Vernon, nor Petunia tell him to leave it, on the contrary they praise him for mistreating Harry), well all this is not normal but abuse! The way Marge speaks to Harry and how the rest of the family treat him in POA is terrible, to tell him his mother had bad blood and that he should have been drowned like a bad, sick puppy at birth is dreadfully cruel, it is verbal / psychological abuse. Of course one has to place a large part of the blame on Dumbledores doorstep, after all he left little Harry outside the Dursleys house, in the middle of the night in cold winter (1. or 2. November 1981), without even speaking to Petunia if she would care for Harry, if she is capable of raising a second child. Afterwards he never seems to have checked up on Harry. I so would have enjoyed to read your version of Snape snapping of Dumbledore´s head with the news about the true life of the B-W-L...
I recommend you try http://www.learn-english-today.com/phrasal-verbs/phrasal-verb-list.htm because you need to work on your preposition use. Things are just not the same in Spanish (sorry, it's my JOB to correct people's English!)
I love the interaction!
I enjoyed this. I'd love to see more, though I expect you've probably abandoned it at this point. If you do decide to pick this back up I would be willing to beta for you. I'll drop you a line at your e-mail address. |
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