| Title: Chapter 7
| 25 Mar 2011 11:01 pm
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| Reviewer: GriffinRaven (Anonymous)
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Awesome story! I can't wait to learn just what is Lucius Malfoy's true plan and who else is involved? Or just why does Minister Heller, seem so bent on some form of revenge against either Albus or Severus?
Oh dear. And the plot thickens.
Lucius is such a "beep beep".
Great chapter. Can't wait for the next.
This is really good, but I do hope the Severus gets to his father before he teaches Malfor Sr. how to pulse. Although his lesson do remind me quite a bit of Harry and Severus in Occlumency.
This story is really good! I cant wait for more!
Poor Harry. It sounds like he could have gotten a concussion.
I wonder what that was all about.
Great job. Can't wait for the next chappie.
I'm sorry that I seemed to have missed this chapter.
OOh, Lucius is a monster. Poor Tobias. He's being used,. That's for sure.
Great chappie Firelye. Onto the next.
Hmm... I wonder what he means about that. Who was that man? And what did he want with Harry? A very intriguing scene. Can't wait to read more! Great story!
I loved it! Awesome chapter! I enjoyed the descriptions and the reactions of all the characters. Liked Harry's thoughts as well, and actions. Great job on the main characters being in character, and the other characters being interesting. Thanks for the update!
| Title: Chapter 4
| 13 Jan 2011 4:53 am
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| Reviewer: anon (Anonymous)
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I like the idea behind this, and so far it seems like you're doing a good job developing your plot. That said, I think that some of your wording choices make this story a little difficult to read. I would suggest getting a beta. He or he can help you identify incorrect or otherwise cumbersome wording choices. Good luck!
Wow, neat chapter!! I bet that Snape is such a powerful and skilled wizard in part because of his Grandfather. How compelling an idea to have such a grandfather. I am just as confused as Harry though, and as mad as Snape. That could have gone very badly. Neat about the wandless magic and the residue on Harry's arm.
There were a couple of typos in this chapter, just so you're aware. It was still readable.
Love the plot and development! Great characters, although I could have used more physical characteristics for the two new ones. What an ordeal Harry just went though. Thanks for the update!! I was so happy to notice it. :D
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