Poor Harry. Malfoy is an arse. Grrrr...
It seems that for once Snape is not being one too.
Good beginnig. On to the next chapter.
Oh poor poor Harry...great chapter!
Oh man, this is really good! I really cried at the end here, when Harry started to cry. This just grabbed at my emotions! Great job!
This is phenomenally well written! Great job! I'm re-reading it for the second time since I've lost track of the story a bit.
I'm sorry, this sounds like a really great story that I'd love to read, but I severely dislike the use of the present tense... he feels tired, he sits alone, he looks out the window. I'm so used to reading fiction in the past tense that this is hard for me to even look at. I realize this is your style of writing and am not criticizing you for it in the least, just letting you know that I would love to see it in the past tense... he felt tired, he sat alone, he looked out the window, etc. Until then I'm going to pass for now. Otherwise it looks interesting.
Author's Response: I decided to use present tense just to try something different, and it's posed a bit of a challenge, but I like that. A few people aren't happy with present tense, so I don't blame you for not reading, I'm just sorry I couldn't convince you to give it a try.
| Title: Mishap
| 02 Jan 2011 3:21 am
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| Reviewer: Tabetha (Anonymous)
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Not bad. My only complaint would be that you switch between past tense and present tense throughout the chapter. And as a friendly reminder, stories flow better and read better when they are in past tense. Such as 'he said' instead of 'he says.' Things like that.
Author's Response: Ah. I'm afraid this story will all be in present tense - unless I accidentally drift into past tense which I assume I have done :/ Later chapters will hopefully have less tense confusion as I think I have a handle on it as the chapters progress. Thank you for reading and taking the time to review - if you continue to read and you spot any more tense confusion, please don't hesitate to point it out to me and I'll amend it.
Update soon :D
Author's Response: I see you found me on ffnet as well! :) Thank you for reading! The new chapter on ff will be up soon - it's almost done...kind of haha.
| Title: Mishap
| 01 Jan 2011 2:33 pm
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| Reviewer: Polpolaris (Anonymous)
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Really well written and an interesting start! Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to read and review :) I hope you stick with me on this!
This is really good so far!!
Author's Response: Big thank you!
Great story so far! Interesting writing style too. Can't wait for another chapter :)
Author's Response: Thank you! The next chapter will be up soon :)
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