| Title: Snake And Bones
| 05 Jun 2011 1:42 am
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| Reviewer: Rhea (Signed)
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Wow! I love that plot twist with the Dark mark! Though, when I started reading this story I thought that it would be angsty, full of teenage hormones and anger and hurt, but now instead of it I find a lot of action - it's like you're not sure yourself what kind of a story it should be. It's nice, though, and I'd like to see where'd this path lead you)
| Title: Two Sons, Not One
| 05 Jun 2011 1:14 am
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| Reviewer: Jaylen (Anonymous)
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I am enjoying reading your story but one thing is bothering me.You write, "He's an occlumens, so I reckon that's how he knew what to say." This is not correct. Occlumency is the act of magically closing one's mind against Legilimency. It can prevent a Legilimens(the one reading the mind) from accessing one's thoughts and feelings, or influencing them. A person who practises this art(Occlumency) is known as an Occlumens. Severus can do both in the Harry Potter books, but in this instance he is trying to read someone else's mind, so he is using Legilimency. If Harry can also read minds, he is a Legilimens.
| Title: Snake And Bones
| 05 Jun 2011 12:35 am
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| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
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Well done I am glad to see how you worked that out ore please when you can *S*
| Title: In The Ranks
| 04 Jun 2011 7:05 pm
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| Reviewer: Twilight1987 (Anonymous)
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Aw... I so want Harry to live happily with Severus.... This chapter threw me for a loop. It was a good one though!
I think Severus will be pissed, but I also think that Harry has the ability to remove the mark after all he has a piece of Voldemort in his body.. tap into that and he could replace Voldy.
| Title: In The Ranks
| 04 Jun 2011 9:09 am
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| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
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Wow just wow tell me that this willnot bite harry in the ass! HAH!
| Title: In The Ranks
| 04 Jun 2011 9:06 am
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| Reviewer: ME (Anonymous)
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hello there! I've just read your complete story. I was hestitating about it, since it seemed kind of...harsh, and I found it I really enjoyed it despite of the fact I had to suppress tears throughout it.
Suggestions? Let Severus read Harry's journal.
When I started reading this, all I wanted to see was Harry punching Severus' face. He deserves it. What kind of father just abandones their child like that? And not only that, but just makes their life a living hell? Or what kind of father chooses a son over another? It's making both his sons' lives a living hell.
I can just see something like that playing out in my head. Maybe Severus pulling 'rank' on Harry, telling him he is his father or something like that. Maybe it could be after Severus finds out about the mark, and Harry saying he has never been one to him, maybe throwing the journal in his face and storming away. Harry has always had quite the temper.
I just wish Severus and Kenai to suffer what Harry has had to go through, specially Severus. I kind of hate your Severus, but at the same time I just want to see him take Harry in his arms.
Well, this would be one of my suggestions.
Keep up with the story and with the rest of them.
from Me, your new reader. :)
Author's Response: Always happy to have a new reader! Thanks for the review.
| Title: In The Ranks
| 04 Jun 2011 6:54 am
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| Reviewer: Vulpixer (Anonymous)
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Ooh Fu....! Well that certainly brought the drama factor up to a 374! I can't wait to see what happens next!! Great chapter as always. :3
i really want sev n kenai to wrk hrd to gt harry they've made his life miserable n yrs n now all a sudden they decide to b a family again?
as a suggestion i propose that harry is really cold to sev n kenai causing them to b hurt n confused as to wat's going on myb voldemort can send a spy DE for a couple of days to make sure tht harry actually hates his father? n harry finds out so he decides to be spiteful and mean towards his family members?
nyways this chapter ws a suprise! n i enjoyed reading it as always :)
| Title: In The Ranks
| 04 Jun 2011 5:13 am
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| Reviewer: Kristi (Anonymous)
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I'm sure that Harry said those things in order to make sure that he would make it out alive. I hate that Harry got branded but I am quite eager to see where you take the story. Also, isn't it the left arm that has the Dark Mark? Wonder how Severus will react to what Harry did.
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