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Reviews For Twenty-one Days
to Nightshade: no - you won't see Merlin ... it's just a well ... as a wizard you say Merlin! as a substitution for people calling out "Oh, my God!" ... *lol* ... you however always have to fear for the students' safety if a story is written by me, my dear Nightshade, I always have them suffering so our dear Potions Master has to patch them up again ... all in all - I do thank you for your review here ... to PadyandMoony: I don't know of Portugese, but in German as well as in English, I tend to speaking like my tongue has been grown *lol* even if I came up with this explanation right now ... it might be not the most correct English, but English is like any language - people say things that makes other people staring - I do it in German as well as in English and honestly, I like it ... however, I do thank you for pointing it out and I do thank you for the review ... to Cara-Tanaka: again I do thank you for the review you here have given as well ... to Severus Draconis: I'm glad to hear - or rather read - that this story is one of your favourites ... and I do thank you for the review ...
I also liked that despite Ron being a hot head you didn't portray all Gryffindors as such like some authors who write Snape stories do. I think that's stereotyping a bit and I like that you managed to escape that mold by showing both Houses have all kinds of students. I agree with most reviewers that you're English is indeed really good. As a non-English speaker but English writer myself I can sympathize with how hard it is to get the expressions right. Which is why I wanted to point this out. I couldn't tell you if it's grammatically incorrect, I don't know. But I do know it sounds weird, which probably means it's not used much even if it is correct. There are two expressions you use a lot. One for time, you say things like. "They've been locked up since five days" for instance. It sounds weird. I would use something like "They've been locked up for five days." The other was when Snape was talking to Harry about his injuries, you wrote "What is your back doing?". Sounded strange too. I would have used "How is your back doing?". But those were the only two things that stood out, and if it wasn't because they are expressions that come up so often I probably wouldn't have noticed. I just let you know because as I said, as a non-native English speaker myself, sometimes I make mistakes like that, usually by using an expression that makes complete sense in Portuguese but in English is weird, and I'm always thankful to my beta for pointing them out to me! Keep up the good work and I'm also looking forward to the sequel you promised at FFnet (couldn't help myself, I went over there to read to the end. Just had to know! I loved it!)
An accident? Why what are you going to do to them? I fear for their safty now. *Focuses, deep breath* So I loved the fact that we got to see what was going on in the real world and how worried the teachers are for the students and Severus (if he only knew...). It was endearing. I'm glad Madam Pomfrey is planning on telling Severus about Harry. I wonder why Severus cannot figure out what Harry's eyes are pleading for, perhaps he just doesn't want to admit it to himself that he does know. The comment about Minerva and not teaching the Gryffindors to go to adults rang very true. Thinking back to the books, when do we ever see her in the common room or hear that anyone has gone to see her for something personal? Maybe 4 or 5 times to be generous. Maybe a little more? I think your fic rings true that the Gryffs aren't taught to be children and they aren't taught to listen to adults for their own safty. Very interesting. Please write more!! |
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