| Title: Chapter 2: I Will Not Use My Freakishness
| 12 Jul 2011 8:11 am
|
| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
I like it so far but I think you have a mistake hun part of the chapter has repeated itself...
Author's Response: For some reason, even though I had uploaded the story file and that's it and it previewed ok, it decided to duplicate itself... O.o Perhaps magic has gone awry already...
| Title: Chapter 2: I Will Not Use My Freakishness
| 12 Jul 2011 7:20 am
|
| Reviewer: cckeimig (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Somehow you've pasted the content twice in the same chapter...
Author's Response: Fixed now...I hope.
| Title: Chapter 2: I Will Not Use My Freakishness
| 12 Jul 2011 7:07 am
|
| Reviewer: Bugeyedmonster (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
Oops, this chapter appears to have some text repeating.
| Title: Chapter 2: I Will Not Use My Freakishness
| 12 Jul 2011 6:09 am
|
| Reviewer: wynnleaf (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
While the writing here is good, you seriously need to check over this chapter. You have repeated whole sections of it. Seems to be a problem with cutting and pasting.
I'm not going to rate this chapter. I don't want to have to rate it low, as it should be fine once you fix the big problems with repeated paragraphs.
Author's Response: I really truly have no idea why it did that. O.o I didn't even c&p, I uploaded the file itself...weird. It -should- be fixed now, though.
| Title: Chapter 2: I Will Not Use My Freakishness
| 12 Jul 2011 5:15 am
|
| Reviewer: cara-tanaka (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
| Title: Chapter 1: That's What He Was...
| 11 Jul 2011 11:08 pm
|
| Reviewer: b.nolea (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
Just a plot bunny that just jumped into my head: What if Harry is the one being bullied on the Quidditch Pitch during the first flying lesson, and Neville is the one who stands up for him?
| Title: Chapter 1: That's What He Was...
| 11 Jul 2011 8:31 pm
|
| Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
This sounds like an awesome start. I can't wait to see where you go with this story. Update soon (:
| Title: Chapter 1: That's What He Was...
| 11 Jul 2011 1:37 pm
|
| Reviewer: Hope_06 (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
awwww poorHarry nad Snape is defintly npt helping that is for sure
| Title: Chapter 1: That's What He Was...
| 11 Jul 2011 5:07 am
|
| Reviewer: Natasi (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Yes, definitely continue, the beginning is very promising and you can go a lot of different directions.
I am thinking that since voldemort is truly dead, Dumbledore will be quite unconcerned with Harry's welfare. He may even start to see him in a negative light being that he is in slytherin and will probably even be reminded of Tom riddle.
I like how you set Harry up with a very deeply ingrained negative self-perception. He apparently thinks that his relatives are right and he deserves to be treated harshly, I think you should really keep harry in that mindset for awhile. I foresee a lot of self-injury due to his internalized negativity. Ooh, a scene just popped in my head. Dumbledore mistakes Harry's self injurious behaviour as violence directed at others. For example, he sees a bit of blood on Harry's shirt and instead of realizing that it is Harry's, he assumes that it is either someone else's or that harry hurt an animal, thus fueling his future dark lord theory.
I don't know how I came up with all of that from a 980 word beginning, but for some reason, you caused my plot bunny to give birth to a litter of baby plot bunnies.
Author's Response: Oh, I LOVE that idea, you are brilliant...EVILLY brilliant. xD I never like when Harry realizes right off that what his relatives have been doing is wrong. :3 It seems too--I don't know, too fast. After all, he's been going through this for ten years, that kind of negativity and treatment sinks into you. I really like the idea of Dumbledore getting put off by him and unconcerned. Thank you for the review and the litter of rabid plot bunnies!
| Title: Chapter 1: That's What He Was...
| 11 Jul 2011 3:48 am
|
| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
Yes the story should go on please update when you can . !!!!!!!!! POOOR HARRY!!!!!! I wonder when swev with see the real problem...
Author's Response: Thank you! xD He will see at some point, I can promise that...but since I'm feeling evil, it might take a while. ;) Severus has quite a few misconceptions about the Boy Who Lived, after all...
|