Looks quite promising! Love how Minerva was so hopeful that Harry would pull her away from her paperwork. Got a good chuckle out of that.
--his
| Title: After the Battle
| 25 Mar 2013 12:13 am
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Anonymous)
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I am not sure you needed this chapter. This could have been an author's notes about how your story is different from canon.
Better yet, you could have just said "my story differs from canon in several ways" and let the reader catch on. It's hard to start a story with a lot of exposition like this and keep the reader entertained.
Author's Response: Just so you know, this is not my work, but the work of the former author of this story. It was his first and then I adopted it around chapter 9 when he gave it to me. I just kept it all the same in the beginning because the story was his to start with and not mine. I had written a few chapters before this, like 5 and 7, but until I adopted it, the story wasn't mine to do with as I pleased. So whether this was a necessary chapter is really a moot point for me. But thanks for reading. Try the other chapters, I'm sure you will like them better.
Its really good, makes me want to countinue to read to see what happens next :)
You put the thoughts as well as the actions in italics. It is very distracting. The thoughts should in italics, and the actions regular type.
"and had opted to return to Hogwarts as the Transfiguration teacher" Use either professor or teacher, not both.
Very interesting start! usually I don't read stories where Severus dies, because I hate that he died in the books, but since you're going to bring him back, I'll give this a shot.
I like how you changed things around and made a lot of the former kids in the books teachers. Hopefully they'll be better than the terrible ones (Umbridge, Lockhart, Quirrell) they had.
Interesting. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Glad you like it.
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