Woah! What an ending! This has taken a very interesting turn! Such an unique situation that I don't even know where to begin to guess what happens next.
I'm very interested in what Sev will do.
| Title: The Camping Trip
| 13 Mar 2013 10:25 pm
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| Reviewer: noctu (Anonymous)
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I'm enjoying the pacing of your story, and how you foreshadow things to come.
Excellent work! Thank you for posting it!
There was a lot to think about in this chapter. It sounds like Ginny has post-partum depression. Hopefully Molly will talk sense to her and get her to see a healer. The camping trip was fun but I wasn't expecting the Death Eaters any more than our campers were. Can't wait to see what happens next! Personally, I have really been enjoying Unveiled. The characters are interesting and fun and I love little Sevvy. I'm glad to hear that you will be continuing through Hogwarts with the story line.
| Title: The Camping Trip
| 13 Mar 2013 5:07 am
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| Reviewer: JWOHPfan (Anonymous)
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WHAT???????? Just when everything is going well! Now I won't be able to read the next chapter and that just sucks!!!
That was such a touching chapter. Poor Sev. It must have been horrible to remember such terrible things and then to have his family forget what day it was only compounded his misery. Your young Severus is a really neat character. Harry and Ginny are always good to read about and Dudley and his daughter have been interesting, too. I'll be looking forward to Sirius' reaction to his own death though his memories probably won't be as traumatic as Sev's.
wow! that was great... *sniff, so beautiful.
And as for UK geography, pah, I could never get it right either.
Good for Dudley. He and Celia are better off without Monica. It's too bad poor Celia had to be there in the middle of the arguement though. At least she and Dudley will be close enough to Harry and his family that they can get support from them.
| Title: Dudley's Choice
| 07 Mar 2013 9:04 pm
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| Reviewer: Anon (Anonymous)
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SURREY IS NOT A TOWN OR A CITY. IT IS A COUNTY IN ENGLAND!
I've read a lot of your stories and I do like them, but the one Britishism you never seem to get (even when reviewers point it out to you) is the idea of a county.
In the US a county is a small division of a state.
In the UK a county is the equivalent of a (US) state.
A mayor is the highest ranking official of a town or city. Thus Surrey cannot have a mayor.
Additionally while a county is roughly the US equivalent of a state, the UK has *no* equivalent to a state governor. A county is governed by a county council.
To help, here is the standard UK mailing address format:
[House number and street name]
[village]
[nearest town] (somewhat optional)
[nearest city] (optional)
[county]
[post code/zip code]
So when Rowling writes
4 Privet Drive,
Little Whinging,
Surrey
She is saying that 4 Privet Drive can be found in the town/village/urban location known as Little Whinging within the county (or (US) state) of Surrey.
Aside from that I am truly enjoying your story, and I have to wonder, what with May coming up is Severus isn't going to start withdrawing/inwardly freaking in. Because, and while I'm not demeaning the effect Sirius and Lily's death had on them, his death was extremely painful and drawn out and, to him, it's only been one year of *his life* since he died of a snake bite.
That kind of thing's got to linger. Doesn't have to be in the run up to the anniversary either, could be the aftermath.
Honestly I think it'd be a good sub-plot, especially given the numerous time Ginny and Severus have clashed over things. She stresses out and lashes out at someone, so if Severus starts becoming more withdrawn, jumpy, maybe even stops speaking . . .
Well, Severus has repeatedly expressed doubts about whether or not the POtters would throw him away, and a misheard comment spoken in anger/frustration/maybe even worry . . .
Where does a six-year-old Severus go when he believes Ginny (and maybe Harry) have had enough of him?
Just a thought.
Nice job. really like this..
Between Shadow and the baby, it's no wonder Ginny is feeling testy. I liked her statement at the end though about Severus understanding when he was a teacher but was unable to show it. It's good that Sev has the other kids for support and comfort as well as Harry and Ginny. He needed it this chapter. Hopefully Shadow will settle down more as she matures.
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