ah this is much better!
Author's Response: Thanks!!
This is well done, and a realistic approach that doesn't go for easy, pat solutions. I like that Harry's taking some initiative in researching his own problems. I'm looking forward to the development of his relationship with Snape. Excellent first fic.
Author's Response: Thank you, I appreciate your feedback! It really helps me move forward with writing when I see that people are enjoying the story.
So will Harry be able to resist the temptation of the bottle? How will their therapy sessions progress?
Author's Response: We'll see! I should have another chapter posted by tonight or tomorrow.
Yet another amazing chapter! I feel so sorry for Harry. He is so lost and confused. I hope that Sev is able to help him before he does something drastic... I love how Sev is taking his time with Harry though, and not pushing him. Excellent job!=)
this is wonderful! keep up the good work! :D
Author's Response: Thank you!
Severus is being so very patient. :) But now I'm worried what's going to happen if Harry gets back to the dorm and Seamus wants him to have a drink. The Severus/Harry scenes do seem very short, but then maybe it's best for Harry to do this in small steps and Severus not to push him. Still enjoying this very much.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm going to work on the length of scenes between Severus/Harry. I appreciate your comments and help!
I have to review again. Simply because I used the word 'write' when I meant 'right'. •shakes head in shame• What a lousy English major I am... But again, this story is fantastic... =)
Author's Response: No worries. I recently wrote "greatful" on facebook instead of "grateful." My brain had just shut off I guess. :)
I love your writing and I'm *really* enjoying this! I do have one bit of constructive criticism though. The conversation at the end was way too short. They talked for all of 5 minutes and then Snape dismissed Harry??? If you want to end the chapter there, that's fine, but the conversation should either (a) continue, (b) Snape offers to let Harry study in his office for the remainder of the detention, (c) the author comment that Snape and Harry contined talking for another hour before Harry returned to the common room, or (d) other. Personally, I'd love to see/read the whole conversation and see it continued real time in the next chapter :-) Great job overall! I can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Thanks for your comments, because I wasn't sure how I wanted to handle it. I felt odd letting Harry be dismissed, and while I had my reasoning, it didn't work. I think the best thing to do is take your suggestion and use the next chapter to give them time for an entire conversation. As this is my first fic, I love having helpful comments because this isn't something I'm used to writing, and there's a definite learning curve. Thank you very much! This help is greatly appreciated. :)
Another awesome chapter! Every chapter I read leaves me more impressed with your writing. Kudos! I look forward to the next chapter; however; take your time! Writing while in school is difficult... That's the same position that I am in write now. (I wish I could write instead of homework though lol!) Anyways, again, this was an awesome chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm hoping to see my writing improve as I keep going, because I feel it's taking time to get into the groove of writing fiction. Thanks for your understanding about taking my time with school. I'll try to strike a good balance, and I wish the best to you as well!
this is really good and i look forward to more!
|